h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Star Date 230899

What a thrilling weekend!

Sister is back. Spent all weekend talking about one of her blokes. She has such a complicated love life. There's bloke no 1 in Sheffield, who she doesn't really like much, but doesn't want to dump because she'll hurt his feelings. She doesn't talk about him much. Then there's bloke no 2 in Devon, who she likes a lot, but he's just come out of a serious long term relationship and doesn't want another one right now, so she has to pretend she doesn't like him that much. But she does. She talks about nothing else. She shocked me with the news that she's just taken the morning after pill - for the third time this year! I didn't act shocked, of course. Just went along like it was nothing unusual. Maybe it isn't when you have a life.

Football was crap. Much as I like Danny Wilson, I think his days are numbered. I'd like him to stay but I think the board are going to make him the scapegoat. Still, there were bright points in the performance - Nationwide was dropped to the bench and Disco was no where to be seen. Unfortunately most of the players on the pitch might as well have now been there. I just wish Booth wasn't. Why didn't we sell him to Forest for £2.5m when we had the chance? We should have snatched their hand off. Hopefully big Gerald will be back one Wednesday when the mighty Derby County visit Fortress Hillsborough. I'm going to have to stop taking the sarcasm pills, they don't have a good effect on me.

Went car shopping with sister over the weekend. It is just like going clothes shopping with her. She has to look at everything several times and then she still ends up with nothing. She thinks she wants a Rover 200, but she's not sure. So we looked at lots of them, and she's still not sure.

Saturday night went fairly well. Lots of um bongo down Hillsborough after the match, followed quite late on by a chinese and Enemy of the State on vid. Damn good film. Chinese wasn't too good though.

Got up at 1.00 pm on Sunday. Supermarket shopping with the old people followed by trip to see Gran. She's mad as ever. I'm hoping she has to come and live with my parents, to have someone to look after her, and then I can have her flat. It's got underfloor heating and a 24 hr shop just down the road.

Done no work again today. It's getting really dull. I know it's great to have a job where they pay you to do almost nothing, but it's not very interesting, especially seeing as I have to pretend to do something all day.

Mulder has now stripped a large section of wallpaper. I'm just going to have to re-paint the plaster. Scully has re-flopped. She's a minature lop. They're born with both ears sticking straight up, like a normal rabbit. Then the ears flop. Only one of Scully's flopped. About a month later the other one flopped. A week after that it stuck up again. Now it's flopped again. I wish she'd make her mind up. She's now started eating the bed. It's really irritating when you're trying to sleep and someone is eating the bed right under your head.

Best be off for some dinner. It's usually Pasta Italienne in the canteen on a Monday. One of my favourites.

Cake so

"always do tomorrow what you could have done today"