h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So as I mentioned on my introduction I have bipolar disorder also known as manic depressive disorder. I bet there is already a reference on h2g2 about this. Sometime I will look it up but I can't take the time to explain it right now.
One of the things that is part of my treatment for this condition is called Dialectical Behavioural Therapy or DBT. I meet with a weekly therapy group once a week and with an individual therapist once a week. Again there is alot more explanation that could be offered but I will have to leave that for later as well. As time permits I will add links to more information for anyone who is interested.

So here I am going to try to keep better track than I have of my use of the DPT skills. Lately I have found myself very unmotivated to do my DBT excercizes, homework etc. I was doing it all the time for a while but have really left it off. Sometimes it seems like too much trouble and if I'm feeling emotionally stable, as I have been, it seems pointless. It is helpful to me if I do them, though so I have to find a way to motivate myself to do them even if it seems pointless.

We have had some turnover recently in the group. One long time member was asked to leave the group permanently today because she was becoming disruptive. We had a change in leadership a few weeks ago and she has been unhappy with the remaining leaders. Last week she was confrontational and arguementative and kept it up for about 15 minutes in a group that was only an hour and a half long*. This week she was asked to leave but that occurred before I arrived. I wish I'd been there. I like Barb. I understand her complaints. Since the previous leaders were really letting her get away with some really unproductive wallowing. She was not adjusting to the more focused and forward directed tack the new leadership was taking. I like Barb but i won't exactly miss her. We also got another new member today and we may have another one next week.

So in this part of my journal I will try to describe my daily activities in the context of DBT.

Today I slept until about 11 AM. Got up and went pee then laid back down until shortly after 12. I got to snuggle my cat and my dog at the same time. Bingers was unusually tolerant. It was an act of self soothing I suppose but not at all productive. If I had been using my skills more consciously I probably would have used Opposite to Emotion and Willingness vs. Willfullness. I did manage to get up in time to arrive more or less on time for DBT at 1:15 PM and pick up coffee and a couple of doughnuts on the way. I did not have time, however, to shower which I really should have done.

DBT was OK, I managed to improvise more or less on the diary cards. I hadn't completely filled mine out and sort of completed it surreptitiously as other people were reading theirs. I had not done the homework.

I stopped at Goodwill on the way home and bought a couple of things. I felt like I hadn't taken my meds. I was lightheadded and felt weird. As I was driving home I realized this was because I hadn't eaten much. When I arrived home, I ate a few cookies. I felt better. I then ate a peach and some Triscuits with peanut butter. I feel normal now. Good because I thought I was having a reaction to medication, or some medication imbalance.

So this evening I have eaten, played Game-boy a bit and then logged on here. Skills used: PLEASE(Reduce Vulnerability). Forcing myself to log off the internet and walk the dog and do other things I need to do this evening will require me to use
Opposite to Emotion, maybe Pros and Cons, others I can't remember right now.

*It had been almost 3 hours long but due to budget cuts it had been shorteded. The leaders did later convince the PTB that we needed more time so we are now back to 2 and a half hours as of this week.

I am removing this entry from my personal space because it is taking up too much space on my personal space. Dialectical Behavioual Therapy is continued in the entry titles DBT day 2 1/2.