h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well you know these old knees aren't as spry as they used to be

never mind, you sit down over there granma whilst us younsters take to the floor

You impudent whipper-snapper!

you're all just jealous of my grace and... *knocks over table of drinks* ... oops, stupid place to leave a table anyway

*sits down in her rocking chair and begins to knit*

You can do all of the boogie woogie you want, young man, back in my day you would be in the army by now...oh yes, the army would make a man out of you

but they couldn't teach me to dance like this *does a twirl*

No, they couldn't.

That would be the navy.

They all have their specialist fields you know.

I was at one time acquainted with a young American who was a marine (I think he may have been before I knew you fellas). He told me once that the marines are the best at two things; killing and cleaning. It almost made me wonder what kind of miraculous sparkle their battlefields would have afterward...

on the Real Men thread on Ask someone was saying it was in the army he learnt to do things like cleaning, cooking, all the traditional domestic tasks

anyway the navy teaches you hornpipes, jigs and reels, not pirouettes

All of the armed forces men that I know (and, oddly enough, given who I am , there are a few of them!) are all very clean, ordered types.

(The advantage of going out with someone who used to be in the armed forces is, if you yell at them to do something, they tend to just up and do it )

So you learnt to pirouette from your mates in the navy, even though it wasn't something officially taught there ?

I do have a friend who was in the navy but he hasn't taught me any dancesteps
He sometimes cleans my kitchen area when he visits

I help at a special needs youth club and every kid there can dance amazingly and in perfect time. I'm am very impressed!

Anyone seen a moshpit?

Nope.

Excellent....

I have *seen* a moshpit...there was even a time when I used to be *in* the moshpit (many many moons ago)...but I get too angry when people touch me, so it'sin everyone's best interest if I stay and bounce somewhere alone in a corner

Does that mean I shouldn't hug you if I meet you? ...I happen to like my fingers.

Job, yes I know moshpits. Many happy memories! But why does that come up in the context of timing and gracious movement?

Oh no, hugs are always more than welcome.

Once we were out at the pub (me and the boy)and I went to get drinks. When I came back the boy pointed at the girl across the pool table and said "She wants to know if she can hug you"

(What can I say, I'm built for hugging )

I love a good , they make me exceptionally happy...it's just being in *crowds* can often me out, and having strangers bang into me can make me a little...()...edgy...

*Note to people who don't like being banged into whilst dancing*

Don't dance with punks

That's a relief! I'd hate to think I wouldn't be able to hug you if I met you. That would be like you meeting me and not calling me princess!

"Don't dance with punks" or with westies, in your case. Lovely people (or bunch of people in some cases), but not very well balanced when there's music playing; they tend to ricochet a lot.
Also not good if you don't like being gently whipped by lots of other people's hair.

Great fun to drink with, though.

Definatly.

I tend to avoid the mospits now and go straight for the alcohol and the girl nearest the alcohol.

Heres a tip if you want alcohol but can't afford it...

Find a member of the opposite sex. If your a girl you'll have no trouble anyway. If youre a guy then act really drunk and try and get her drink off her (providing its in a place where no1s object to sharing drinks). When she lifts it up to take it away from you just tip it into your mouth.

The only way to beat it is to move your drink downwards instead of upwards which is not the common procedure.