h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

St Tanzen the Ruinator doesn't sound quite the same though
Don't worry Arisztid, I'm sure we'll find someone to save you, although Tanzen seems uncertain about her vocation

Is there some way I can be a bar wench in your church ?

Then I can constantly "serve" the church

*gaffaws quietly at her little "Dad Joke"*

thats so bad I may have to use it some time
of course you can, no communion wine in my church, just a free bar

I'll have to tell my Dad, he'll p!$$ himself laughing

I really think your sermon/homily should just be 30 minutes packed with as many bad puns and Dad jokes as you can pack in

...and then when the poor churchgoers sit there in embarrased silence, someone can pipe up with: "Tell it again; we'll all laugh next time."...

Ahhh, a whole crowd full of polite or obviously fake laughter...that's what I call a religion

I shall have cue cards for the congregation
Anyone who doesn't laugh will be excommunicated

Or maybe they'd need to do a few Bloody Marys...with whickey chasers

I can see a long and glorious history for my church

The Sombre Heresy
The Humourless Martyrs
The Jovial Burnings

Nobody Expects the Comic Inquisition

Hooray!

How do I become a humourless martyr ?

Can I do it without actually being killed ?

No but it might be possible to join the Sombre Heresy without dieing for it

Actually the Comic Inquisition just threw custard pies at the Humourless Martyrs, no deaths at all

Mmmm...custard pies...

Count me in

Don't worry, you'll be the first against the wall when the Comic Inquisition arrives

I've always wanted to be first against the wall

(I don't know, but for some reason, I've always liked the way "first against the wall" sounds )

Well we aim to oblige

I've always said that "That Kitty is awfully obliging, don't you think?"

A lot of people just say, 'Oooh, kitty, you are awful'

Maybe the "ly obliging" is silent ?