This is a Journal entry by Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 1

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

I'm back! Yay!
I've been away for what seems like centuries, even though it's been more like five months.
And now I'm short on things to say. I'd thought I'd have a nice long collection by now... well I kindof do, but nothing I actually feel like saying just now.
For those of you who missed the brief mention in one of the threads somewhere; I have no income. WINZ have decided that not only are they not going to give me the student allowance (benifit given to "every" student who has no other reasonable supporting income. Pah.)... but they've also decided they're not going to loan me the money (which is supposed to be the option for everyone else).
I'm working with the university councellors at the moment - in fact I have another meeting in... ten minutes - to try to apply for what's known as a 'limited full time student loan'. If it falls through I'll probably have to drop out of uni and work full time again instead. And if I leave uni then I almost certainly won't come back.
I really, really, REALLY don't need this stress right now. Just looking at my assignment specs makes me just about hyperventilate, even without the added stress of thinking that the government wants me to starve to death.

So I'm not exactly peaches and cream at the moment. The only positive thing in the last couple of weeks to have happened (apart from uni itself, which kind of goes without saying really) is meeting a new friend, Haylee. She's fun to hang out with, but completely unavailable so also frustrating in many ways. *ahem*
Her boyfriend's a git, by the way. smiley - shrug Does this sound familiar?
I have little objection to all the semi-decent women being unavailable; that's just the way things go. But why can't their partners be nice, too?! GAH!

Anyway, gotta go to this meeting. smiley - hug


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 2

Arisztid Lugosi

poor you. sounds like you're having a really tough timesmiley - hug

glad you've got a new friendsmiley - smiley sorry shes not available.

yay! i seem to have made new friends toosmiley - smiley life is good at the moment. i hope things cheer up for you

good luck at the meeting!
smiley - goodluck


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 3

tanzen

I left uni to get work (and money)...6 years later I'm still at the same job and have no plans to return to school, so I suppose what I'm saying is look for options if you can, and smiley - goodlucksmiley - cuddle!

It's always nice making new friends. I'm socially retarded and as such tend to make friends through other friends, or just dumb luck...Luckily the friends I tend to make tend to stick around smiley - ok.

Oh, and I understand what you mean about all the nice people going out with gits. It's something I've always seen, and I think I can maybe name 2 or 3 couples where I can't see it...

(Happily loved up for 9 months...and yes, *I'm* the git in the relationship smiley - erm)


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 4

Blackberry Cat , if one wishes to remain an individual in the midst of the teeming multitudes, one must make oneself grotesque

smiley - goodluck with the loan
seems like the NZ government has forgotten its going to need highly-qualified people who understand computers and smiley - geek stuff in the future


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 5

Lord Job Boron. That's Lord Job Boron To You!

That is so F***ed Up if you'll pardon my english. I recon you sit outside the parliment building and starve just to say ha! F*** You!!!

Ok that wouldnt work but on the upside many of my relationships (ok 2 out of 10 but still a high figure in retrospect) have started with a d**khead boyfriend and some sly ways to try and break them up without them noticing. Id be happy to give you hints but it's all chance so good luck dude.


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 6

Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!"

It's true that I don't know you very well yet, but smiley - goodluck anyway! Wish I could be there to help. smiley - smiley I like you. You're cool, and you seem a lot smarter than most of the other people I know. So I hope it works out.

smiley - cuddle
smiley - boing


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 7

Lord Job Boron. That's Lord Job Boron To You!

smiley - cheers


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 8

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Wow thank you all for the praise! I feel so special.
Although there is /one/ thing I disagree with... Tanzen, I have trouble believing that you could be a git. smiley - ok

As an update - I've now collected all the chits I needed to complete the application for limited full-time student loan, and I handed it in a couple hours ago. It's supposed to take five days to process, and I have one more weeks rent in the bank.
I'm going to cross my fingers that this will be the first time /ever/ that an application for anything through WINZ didn't get lost in the system the first time or two I applied.
Aparrantly there are other options open to me if this fails, so the councellors say (I had a meeting with two at once, for an hour and a half, on wednesday - I think they must be worried about me. All meetings are usually for an hour exactly, and with one councellor,) although they didn't actually say what the other options are. As long as my savings hold out long enough for me to get some kind of income, and I manage to avoid getting stressed about it and having my work suffer (again), then it should be sweet.

On a much more personal note (warning: if you don't want to know, then don't keep reading. I mean it.)...
A couple of friends came over yesterday, and ... well they were lots of fun to play with. smiley - blush One of them (a biochemist - anything to do with how chemicals affect the body; he's the guy to talk to,) bought some nos and a packet of rapture pills with him. Nos is nitrous oxide - laughing gas. It comes in little metal canisters for bubbling industrial whipped cream, like the stuff that comes in cans. It gives a temporary euphoria for about 15-20 seconds if inhaled unmixed.
I declined the nos, but took two rapture pills; a herbal sensory stimulant. It wasn't too bad, but I've decided that I'm just not going to bother with any stimulants stronger than about coffee any more. I have a high metabolism, so perhaps thats why it kicks me more than I feel it should - eight hours later I was still vibrating, and my muscles were tense. Although I could have lived with the physical effects (they were annoying after a while, but meh) I got really bugged by the mental effects. You know how when you stand up too fast and get a head rush, the effects are tunnel vision and dizzyness and so on... well it was like that, except it wouldn't go away by breathing deeply. And that reminded me of the time I got spiked with speed at a party and ended up in hospital with an amphetamine overdose, so that wasn't exactly happy memories to help my mood. So all in all I think I would have preferred not to have taken it. Ah well, I'll know for next time.

On top of that, I got a call from work saying that due to a power cut I had to go in to work and reset the server. Gah! What terrible timing! The entire time I was thinking of the two gorgeous naked people on my bed, who didn't want me to be at work. I was very much inclined to agree with them. Well I was thinking that and 'Are they looking at me funny?' as I crossed the bridge.... and also while I was at work, watching the screen of the server while the tech in Wellington was working on it remotely; waiting for him to call me and say that it was all good and I didn't need to be there any more... I was having trouble standing (combination muscle tension and post-orgasmic euphoria) and also having trouble concentrating, and just generally didn't want to be there.

Got back again, and gee.. I think they like me smiley - blush although it was kind of embarrasing when they started talking about having me diefied. Or at least having my tongue diefied. Did I mention I love going down on gorgeous people? Hey, I thought I was being selfish.

Anyway, so yesterday afternoon was interesting. After a shower I taxi'd the lady home, and walked down her street to the home of another couple of friends, who had been demanding my company for about the last week, and had threatened violence if I put them off another day. They are nice too. A bit random, but hey I'm used to it. Aparrantly I'm now their honorary son. smiley - erm Along with their flatmate. smiley - shrug
The extra bonus there is that they live nice and close to uni for my early lecture this morning, even though their spare bed is a little ... random. And dungeon-like. smiley - erm
I couldn't find enough whoosh to get to uni early enough to grab a booking at the med centre, so my appointment is now on tuesday. Some of you know that I'm going to try to get myself back on antidepressants again; I was very blue for most of the early part of this week, and I still don't know why. Sure there was stress, but it shouldn't have been /that/ much.
It's a little irksome that I have to wait until tuesday just for the doctor to sign the prescription for the pills which take three weeks to start working anyway. Especially since I know I'll be in and out in five minutes. smiley - sighsmiley - shrug

Anyhoo. I am sleep deprived and talking too much. Hope you heeded the warning and if you didn't want to know, you didn't keep reading. Your fault if you did.

smiley - hug


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 9

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Wow what a long post... I blame not being able to hootoo for five months, it all comes out in one go.

smiley - biggrinsmiley - hug


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 10

Arisztid Lugosi

smiley - hug

are you feeling any better?


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 11

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

I was for a while; the euphoria feeling helped, and it lasted until about middayish today, but it doesn't do anything to my emotional state at all, so in the end it was emotionally unfulfilling. Not that it was a waste of time, of course. Only the emotional aspect was missing.
And I'm generally feeling a bit better now than I had been over the last few days. Not much, but a bit.
It feels like the mental equivalent of when you know you're immune system's running low; you're just tired and run down all the time. But mentally. So I'm still describing myself as 'bleh'; even though I know I just need to build up energy and take care of myself and not do anything to make it worse.
I'll be alright. smiley - ok

I like that thumbs-up smiley. I think it might be my favourite. They're all cute though. Especially the smiley - monster ! smiley - biggrin


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 12

Arisztid Lugosi

well i'm glad you at least had a good mood for a little while.....

i love thesmiley - monster smiley!!!
but i've allways liked smiley - somersault...


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 13

Lord Job Boron. That's Lord Job Boron To You!

Describe these gorgeous naked people...

Sorry thats the wrong part of the post to focus on isn't it.

Who caress describe them neway!


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 14

Mr. X ---> "Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes!"

I'm curious to know how a threesome would work.......Do you take turns with eachother or what?

smiley - boing


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 15

Lord Job Boron. That's Lord Job Boron To You!

Well technically it wouldn't unless you did take turns but then how do you choose who goes first. Two guys and a girl works but I never want to try it ever so we'll forget that idea. Yeah I'd say taking in turns.


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 16

Arisztid Lugosi

*decides to be a quiet observer in this conversation*

*has recently discovered that she does this quite alot. she hadnt noticed untill C pointed it out to her at H's suprise birthday party. she just sits there and watches everone else, for the most part.*


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 17

Lord Job Boron. That's Lord Job Boron To You!

better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 18

tanzen

I'm always the quiet one...well, at first anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I'm alright. Not the funniest, prettiest, coolest smiley - cat in town, but alright. But I've learnt enough about people to know that not all of them are particularly hip to my scene...

*realises she just used "coolest cat" and "hip to my scene" in her thinking voice...wonders when it all started to go wrong...*

..but anyway...

In all of my life I've only ever made *one* friend...meaning that there was only one person I had the balls to go up to and say hello first...he and I are still mates, but it's not something I'm in the habit of doing. I find if I stay still long enough someone will smile and say hello smiley - biggrin

(come on everyone, wave hello to the hippy freak smiley - winkeye)

As a result I have a lot of loud boisterous friends. I met one of my best mates at teh pub a few years ago. I was wearing a Monkees top...she screamed at me from the other side of the room and hugged me...we've been together ever since smiley - magic

***The point I was trying to make***

There's nothing wrong with being the quiet one smiley - winkeye


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 19

tanzen

Jerms!

Make sure you tell us how things are going smiley - cuddle. I’ve been off all medications for a month or so now…doing alright, but I suppose we’ll have to wait and see how it all works out…I think sad suits me better anyway…smiley - erm

Oh, and I *am* the git…the boy is absolutely delightful….charming and endearing and just a nice stand up sort of fella…and me, I’m evil…smiley - evilgrin

(I think smiley - magic is my favourite smiley…it’s just so…happy…)

(well, that and smiley - cheers…because smiley - ale makes me happy too…)

tanzen
(still recovering from a self-inflicted St Patrick’s Day long weekend smiley - alienfrown)


What robot monkey? Oh, you mean /this/ robot monkey?

Post 20

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Whee! smiley - somersault
Yep fair enough, that one's pretty cool! smiley - ok

smiley - laugh You males are so... male! smiley - rofl
Okay okay: H has just died her hair; it's a really cool streaky blonde/red razercut. She's a bit on the thin side, although she thinks she should lose weight (just like a female. tsk.) Her breasts are a little large for someone her height/size/age, so she really appreciates back massages. She has lots of scars on her arms, all self-inflicted, and some of them make words like 'ugly' and 'stupid', even though she's none of those things. Yeah she has issues.
She won't believe me when I say she's pretty, or gorgeous, or pretty gorgeous. I'm just hoping I can drill it into her by saying it enough.
And J kisses like a girl; he's got the metrosexual image going on, and always dresses nicely and has a nice smile. Um. To be honest I don't really look at him that much. Women are much nicer to look at. Even hetero women tend to agree with that, so it's got to be true.

As for how threesomes actually work... that depends on the people involved, and what they like to do. To be honest, I've had a few threesomes, and the only ones I've actually enjoyed have been all the ones with J involved; we just seem to work well together. That and he's fun to go down on. He squirms lots and makes squeaky noises after a while. Hehee!

Er. Aaaaaanyway... er. smiley - blush

Hi Tanzen! smiley - biggrin

...
Well /I/ think you're a pretty cool smiley - cat. I don't care if you think I'm wrong, you're still cool anyway. And being evil doesn't make you a git. smiley - oksmiley - nahnah

Hehee! St Patrick has a lot to answer for! smiley - cheers

Oh and an update: I saw the doc this morning, and I now have a box of Moclobemide to start on tonight! smiley - biggrin Just knowing it's imminent is helping, somehow...
And I checked the progress of my various money-type applications this morning too: one of them has been approved which means once the money comes through I should be able to pay my rent for another couple of weeks at least. The others are still processing (3 to 5 days my arsmiley - bleepse!) but if one of them goes through then yay I can afford to survive! smiley - ok


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