h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's so much I want to talk about here; I haven't been online properly for over a week now and quite a lot has happened. Importantly, I've had some extremely interesting conversations with some very smart people who have a clue, and I'm sure you'd all be interested to know.

But now for the bad news.

I'm currently right on the borderline edge of a mental breakdown, again, so I'm having extreme difficulty trying to concentrate. I was feeling fine after I handed in the assignment on friday, but my mental state seems to have completely gone pear-shaped since then. Not certain why, but it almost certainly has something to do with the fact that I haven't been able to sleep until at least 2am each night, and then I've been either dreaming or hallucinating - sometimes both - as I doze through the night. My alarm goes off at 6:30am, and usually I'm too tired to be able to move until well after it switches itself off two hours later. The dreams and hallucinations seem just as real to me as the conscious reality I'm currently experiencing, leaving me questioning my own sanity more than ever.
I hate nightmares.

In an attempt to remember later what it was I wanted to talk about here, here is a list of seemingly-unconnected phrases, brought to you my the letter 'blue':
Piggyback hobbyists.
Genetic self-mutation.
Van Eck phreaking.
Tempest(?) project.
Aspertame.
America's clipped teeth.
...There was probably more.

I'm not okay.
I feel sick.
I think I'll go and design a castle, and then try to enjoy this lovely long backlog I seem to have.

Poppet !

I wish I knew what the answer was, but I don't . I tend to lock myself away from the world and wait til I'm feeling a little less mental...

There are a few other tricks, but they only have varying degrees of success...like writing or recording your thoughts...easier to deal with when they're outside of your head. Or listening to really boppy or really angry music...whichever will help you deal quicker.

But I'm not a doctor, and if you asked my doctor, I'm probably the last person who should be giving anyone any advice...

But the best thing to remember is that it always passes

to hear this
have you tried sleeping tablets, maybe see your
if you're not getting up when your alarm goes off anyway maybe try setting it for 8:00 AM
then you might be rested enough to get up when it does go off
waking dreams are real mindf***ers aren't they
luckily I haven't had any in ages but I sympathise

I would still be in bed if I didn't have a lecture today. As it was I got there twenty minutes late, and walked out an hour early anyway.
If I'd stayed at home I would have got depressed and lonely too, so it's probably healthier for me to be here, even though it's such an effort to make sense.
Listening to music as loud as these headphones can go. Not very loud, but it's better than the hum of the computers around me, always makes me twitchy. Prodigy. Music for the Jilted Generation.

... Just biding time until it passes, really.
I've had worse.



Good to see you back, by the way. Did you have a good holiday?

Woah, simulpost! Sorry BC, I was off replying to you in a different thread!

Yeah I was wondering about sleeping tablets this morning, or maybe going back on the antidepressants. I'll see if I get better the rest of today, if not I'll go visit the med centre on wednesday, see what they think.

Setting my alarm for 8am won't really help me; most days now I start work at 8:30, and I need pretty much exactly two hours between getting up and needing to be awake...

Been a lot of stress recently, but it's weird that this only started to happen in a big way /after/ the last major deadline. There's probably some explanation.


Oh, and I keep forgetting to add: I can't remember where the conversation is, but somewhere I'd talked about whether I should drop another paper, because I'm not sure if I can pass it anyway. Even though there's only three weeks left.
The lecturor sent me my current marks this morning: out of the three assessments we've already done, I got 17.5%, 12%, 15.5%, and 45%. The last assessment is worth 25%, which means I need to get at least 20% to pass the course.

I know what you mean, when I'm having a mental day the last thing I want is to be around people, but the last thing I should do is be alone...

I've had problems sleeping since I was about 15...the headf**king has been going on for ages, don't even want to put a time on that.

My mother told me I was a depressed baby...she said it like ti was the funniest thing in the world. I think that says it all really

Thanks for being there.

jerms!!!


i'm so sorry to hear you're not feeling well!!
i wish there was something i could do to help!

Your company helps. Good to see you!

I haven't replied to your e-mail yet, I'll wait until I can think clearly.

Does this help?

*tanzen, donned in wide-striped red and white pantsuit, white hat and cane, starts dancing and singing*

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul not Constaninople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish Delights on a moonlit night.
Every gal in Constantinople
lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople,
so if you've a date in Constantinople,
She'll be waiting in Istanbul!

good to see you too!
i can wait for a reply, so you just wait till you're feeling up to it.

did you like the three rooms i did?

Yay!
I love that song... (I'm not depressed at the moment though, am unstable instead. Talking to you guys is good... don't injure yourself trying to cheer me up though. )

Hey Tanzen, I found this, too:
http://tattoo.about.com/library/bl061104h.htm
Yay Duck!

Yay castle rooms!
Thank you Arisztid! I'll have a play with the maps a bit later on, too.

Yay!
I love that song... (I'm not depressed at the moment though, am unstable instead. Talking to you guys is good... don't injure yourself trying to cheer me up though. )

Hey Tanzen, I found this, too:
http://tattoo.about.com/library/bl061104h.htm
Yay Duck!

Yay castle rooms!
Thank you Arisztid! I'll have a play with the maps a bit later on, too.

doh I think this might be a simulpost, I just pressed the wrong button. Sorry if it is.

no problem jerms. anything for you.

i'll try not to injure myself trying to cheer you up... but no promises.

Lol!

So Tanzen, you're avoiding the question. How was your holiday? Or have you already talked about it in a thread I haven't made it to yet?

looks as if tanzens gone offline.
i dont think she talked about her holiday... i'm not all too sure though. but at anyrate its not just you who doesnt know about it...

Hmm... that's weird. She's got the little eye logo thingees beside her name in the conversations, but now that I check the 'who's online' page, she's not there.
Ah well, I'm sure she'll be back.

went out to have a smoke with my brother, took a little longer as I'd bunged me ankle on the weekend

The holiday was nice...didn't really do anything...went into the city with my baby brother and saw a movie, then spent most of the time hanging out with my boy

*starts to dance again*

Even old New York, was once New Amsterdam,
why they changed it I can't say,
People just liked it better that way

(don't worry about injuries...my ankle is fine in the hootoo universe )

that song allways gets stuck in my head!!!
it would be right now but i'm listening to msuic. and just my luck i'll be singing it all day tomorrow.

I made my brothers listen to it, so now I just have to look at them and go I-stan-bul! and they go crazy

Ahh, the advantages of being the big sister

(don't woryr, I pay for it, I have three older sisters )