h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry I'm late, Arisztid... I got accosted by a card-carrying christian during lunch. I don't think he's christian any more...

The only thing worth mentioning in today's journal is a conversation I had yesterday, with a friend named Grr. Yes that is his name. Not the name on his birth certificate, but it what he's known as.

Somehow we got onto the topic of the nature of society, and its current rapid decay. We talked about what the future might hold if that decay continues (which seems likely) and what we would do when. Basically, we talked about our plans for the apocalypse.
We agreed the first thing to do would be to steal a van or small truck, and then fill it with the lootings of a handful of very specific stores. In order:
A pharmacy. If society fell apart, medicine would no longer be made, and would soon be in great demand. Specifically: antibiotics, antihystimines, antiinflammitorys, and painkillers. Probably more, but I have more thinking to do before I can finish that list.
A sporting goods store. Not only for hunting equipment such as crossbows, bolts and knives, but also for lightweight, heavyduty clothing.
A food wholesale warehouse. A supermarket would do, but a wholesale warehouse would be more convenient; everything's already in boxes. The shopping list here would include: Disinfectant, food packets (soups etc), dried food, seeds, lighters, erasers, milk powder and soap.
Finally, an army surplus store. Only a few items would be needed: cooking utensils (metal), water containers, and similar items; more clothes, boots, and probably material.
Possibly a hardware store would be on that list too. As I say, I haven't finished thinking about this yet.

The next step would be to get the hel out of the cities.
I now know where and when I would meet Grr, and I intend to organise similar arrangements with other certain people.

Any suggestions, anyone?

Nope, I'm a city dweller and would be useless in that sort of situation so I'll just loot a liquor store, break into a bookshop, and wait for the end

thats ok jerms
you're here now and thats what matters
did you get my email?

what are the erasers for?
and i havent really got any more suggestions... but i'll start thinking...
just one question... can i come and join you? it seems you'll be the best prepared...

I'm a city dweller too, but I was raised a country boy... Ssh! Don't tell anyone!
I'd have to learn fast to be able to hunt my own dinner though... that's the only part I'd have trouble with... well, that and the looting... driving a truck... etcetera...

I just saw the e-mail... Oh my god you're gorgeous! Even more than I'd imagined!

The erasers can be broken up and used as firelighters... I figure those blocks of firestarter stuff wouldn't store/travel too well.
Sure, come join me! ... You'd have to get here first.

PS. What the heck is a twink? I thought that was that liquid white stuff you use to get rid of mistakes... Wait. Are you an assasin?!!!

i'll drive the truck.... but i've got to learn standard first...

"Oh my god you're gorgeous! Even more than I'd imagined!"
aww.. thaks jerms

ok. a twink is like someone preppy... um, one of the 'cool' kids... does that help explain?

i didnt know you could use erasers as fire lighters...
and i'll um... cath a flight... well actually i can drive a boat, so i could get there that way... but i'm not sure i'd be able to navigate it...

me an assassin? never.... i only belong to the assassins guild for the title, and the fear it instills in people hearts...

My brother is stocking up for the apocolypse as we speak. He has decided to learn to grow his own food with mixed results. He says he will save a place for me in the compound. I him, ungrateful sod that I am.

if the only people left are the Christians and the Survivalists I'll stay in my bookshop

Okay, now I know what 'twink' means... that's kinda what I'd guessed anyway...

Anything rubber will flame really well. Plastic, too, but plastic takes a while to 'catch'.

Being able to pilot a boat would help, although it's a heck of a long way! Not too sure you'd make it... If you ever need to, I'd reccommend coming around via Russia, past the coast of China, Japan (don't get in the middle!) Indonesia, Australia (pick up Tanzen on the way!) and head East once you can see Tazmania.
Don't come past America.

OOOooooOOOO! Triple simulpost again!

You guys post too fast!

hmm... yes... before i leave i'll get out a map and mark down the route you suggested...

Basically stick to land, and follow the countries around the east pacific rim...

hmm... ok
i'll be there in no time...

...sure. Keep telling yourself that... I'm sure the months will just /fly/ past...

50,000 kilometers by boat? Seriously?! Oh well, if you're sure...

When the Apocolypse comes, I plan on being in my cave in the Scottish Highlands already...I imagine by that time I will have learnt how to fend for myself...

...lucky thing, being vegetarian..I'll never have to hunt and kill anything that can hurt me back

i'll uh, bring a good book?

well part of the time i'll have tenzen to talk to right?

Damn, apparantly not. I wasn't counting on Tanzen hiding in a cave on the other side of the world!

I recommend "The death of Grass", by John Christopher. If that doesn't prepare you, nothing will!

(PS, favourite book, by the way. )

not if shes gone seeking the Holy Grail in a cave in Scotland

hmmm...
so many things to think about.... i think i will read that book on my boat ride. allong wiht not wanted on the voyage. i seem to remember that i liked it but i cant really remember much abot it...

Oh is that where it's hiding these days...

Gah! These simulposts are going to make it difficult for anyone reading later...