h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So what do you do when you go to a party, correction a GREAT party, and you have a great time and you catch up with some really cool friends, and one of them you haven't seen in ages but you've always liked her and always wanted her but she's always had a boyfriend before. Except this time. And she hits on you, so you go along with it 'coz she's... well she's really cool and you get along really well and she's really sexy too.
Normal boring teenage-style love interest story, so far.

We had a great night and it was really comfortable, like it was meant to be, you know? Just like it should be between friends. But I KNOW that it was only for a little while, and that within about a week or so she'll probably be back with her @$$hole ex-boyfriend who cheats on her and treats her like sh!t, and makes her feel that she's not worth anything better.

And of course I don't want her to.

Now I know that she doesn't want to be with A Nice Guy, which is fair enough even though it counts me out. And I know I shouldn't push the issue 'coz I want to keep her as a friend, and after this we'll probably catch up a bit more, even if I'm just her bitching post or crying shoulder, or she just wants to go out to watch a coffee or drink a movie or whatever. And that's cool. But I don't WANT to be just a one-night distraction.
At the very least it was so much fun (for both of us) that we really should do it a few more times. I figure we have about a week.

I'm just... ...speechless with the stupidity of it all. Why would she want him back? They've been going out about two and a half years, not counting the times she's broken up with him 'coz she found out he cheated on her or got another girlfriend or three without breaking up with her first or whatever, and he still can't remember when her birthday is, or, for that matter, find her clitoris. Aparrantly.

Why???! Dammit! why?

She's SO smart, and she's SO funny, and she's SO gorgeous and could have any man she wanted (assuming availability, of course), so why the hell would she want to be with him? You can't BE that scared for that long, just ask my sister.
She really deserves better, and could have better too, so why would she choose not to?

GAH!

i'm sorry to hear that.
care for my bitter point of view? probably not, but here it is anyway. i'm working on perfecting the whole "and a rock feels no pain and an island never crys'. so at least you're willing to gibe it a try. i've never had a 'relationship', and althgouh that saddens me somewhat i'm not sure i really want one. as for as i can see everyone lets me down at one point or annother, its only a matter of time. even my idols. so i know that sounds really bitter but thats the way it feel. i mean, i dont want a one night stand. and i've got enough bouts of depression and self confidence problems without haveing someone dump me or whatever. i'm not entirely sure i could handle it. if i get really upset when i find out that my friends arent exactly who i thought they are what would i do if i really loved someone. only recently its dawned on me that no one ever feels teh same way about me as i do them. if i call someone my friend then i'm loyal and unless they really hurt me i'll love them forever. but it doesnt seem to be that way with other people. and i'm tired of walking on eggshells waiting for my happiness with a friend to end.

i'm sorry that didnt really help did it? it ended up turning into a rant of sorts. but i cant really answer your question... i cant imagine why she'd want to go back wiht him. except maybe misplaced love, but then its been my experience that you cant really choose who you fall in love with. me personally i want a 'nice guy' so i cant fathom someone who keeps going back when they shuld know it'll only hurt them. but good luck, maybe she'll come around. and if she does i'm sure you'll be there for her.
dont worry in the end i'm sure we'll both find someone...

i'm sorry to hear that.
care for my bitter point of view? probably not, but here it is anyway. i'm working on perfecting the whole "and a rock feels no pain and an island never crys'. so at least you're willing to gibe it a try. i've never had a 'relationship', and althgouh that saddens me somewhat i'm not sure i really want one. as for as i can see everyone lets me down at one point or annother, its only a matter of time. even my idols. so i know that sounds really bitter but thats the way it feel. i mean, i dont want a one night stand. and i've got enough bouts of depression and self confidence problems without haveing someone dump me or whatever. i'm not entirely sure i could handle it. if i get really upset when i find out that my friends arent exactly who i thought they are what would i do if i really loved someone. only recently its dawned on me that no one ever feels teh same way about me as i do them. if i call someone my friend then i'm loyal and unless they really hurt me i'll love them forever. but it doesnt seem to be that way with other people. and i'm tired of walking on eggshells waiting for my happiness with a friend to end.

i'm sorry that didnt really help did it? it ended up turning into a rant of sorts. but i cant really answer your question... i cant imagine why she'd want to go back wiht him. except maybe misplaced love, but then its been my experience that you cant really choose who you fall in love with. me personally i want a 'nice guy' so i cant fathom someone who keeps going back when they shuld know it'll only hurt them. but good luck, maybe she'll come around. and if she does i'm sure you'll be there for her.
dont worry in the end i'm sure we'll both find someone......... i hope....

"...at least you're willing to give it a try." Only because I was an emotional iceberg for a couple of years after (a) breaking up with the woman I loved, and (b) unsuccessful suicide attempts after (a). I got sick of it, and wanted to feel something again. Anything. Even if it included the bad stuff.
Besides, the good outweighs the bad with most relationships. If it doesn't then the relationship doesn't last.
A one-night stand /can/ be fun, but personally I tend to prefer the intimacy which comes with a long-term relationship.

"...my friends arent exactly who i thought they are..." Yeah I can relate to that too. If you ever get bored enough to read back a few months in my journal you'll get to the post where I rant about the guy who was my best friend for eleven years, and why I don't talk to him now.
I realised that for me personally the two strongest emotions are pride and trust. For me to call someone a friend I have to be both proud of them, and trust them implicitly. Seems to narrow down the field a heck of a lot. I can now count seven people who still have that title.

"...you cant really choose who you fall in love with." Oh hell yes I agree with that too. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can actually get along with them.

Keep hoping. I will too.

i will probably attempt to read back a few months later... now that my curiosity's piqued. care to give me the name of the journal? otherwise it'll take me years....



"For me to call someone a friend I have to be both proud of them, and trust them implicitly. Seems to narrow down the field a heck of a lot. I can now count seven people who still have that title".
i know what you mean. it really does narrow the feild down. not only that it seems that i miscalculate or something because of only 4 people that i would truely caount as my friends i've only got 2 left. the first one i still havent let go its too difficult for me. i really liked him. he was really cool. but hes got some issues. and i know that none of it is my fault. but i cant help blame myself for his not talking ot me anymore. i must have said the wrong thing... i didnt mean to and i have no idea waht it was... damn! it jsut occured to me! now i probably wont get their cd and i'm not sure if theres a point in going to the concert. its too painful to see him. i mean how would feel if your friend suddnely dissapears and no one knows where hes gone and then later after you finally get back in touch wiht him you discover that someone that neither of you seemed to like has been in touch with him. i guess i just feel really hurt that he felt he could stay intouch with that jerk and not me! i mean this is the stupid jerk that didnt care what happened to my friend he was just upset about what would happen to his and my moms cd that they were making. that made me really upset. if only because i'm fiercely loyal and i would do almost anything for one of my friends. but i've discivered that for most of them it means absolutely nothing if i drop dead tomorrow. that makes me feel really sad. but then i supose that that means that they're not really friends... but then again i cant jsut hangout by myself all the time. help my feelings have been stamped on to a point of no repair. and yet if hes willing to talk to me again i know that no questions asked i'll come running back. its so stupid! oh well. i suppose that i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. and hopefully you'll still me here for me to talk to.
as for ohter friends... i'm not sure how to describe them.... i mean there my friends from hootoo. and although i've never met any of them i would call them friends...i'd call you a friend... i dont really know anything about you... or at least not a lot... but i would still call you a friend... after all if you werent my firiend i wouldnt be telling you about stuff... it'd just be a lot of small talk and not a lot about me. and i'm sure i'd be proud of you if i only knew why... but at any rate i'm proud that you're my friend.... did you ever read anne of green gables? ok i know its a girly stupid book, but my mom used to read it to me when i was little. no...ok wait a minute. what was taht all about? now i'm confused.... oh yeah! now i remember... she called her best friend a kindred spirit. i was thinking that kindred spirit might be a good word... but now i'm all confused and i think its best if i come back to that later sorry.
and now the last kind of friend. the kind that you hang out wiht at school and you go bowling wiht and to the movies or something... but you wouldnt trust, not really... i have lots of those friends too... so maybe they all need new names. like friend type one. or B or something like that. but i trust more of my hootoo friends than my RL go bowling with friends... i suppose thats because people on hootoo cant go and leak the things i say around the school or whatever.

by the way i was very impressed by all of what you said on the "Scary..." thread. you seem very smart. and i'm much too shy to have said any of the things you said.


"A one-night stand /can/ be fun..."
but it would never work for me... because i dont really intend to be doing *clears her throat* intimate things untill i'm married. which i believe also narrow the feild of possible boyfriends. but i've got enough problems without my parents flipping out at me for breaking a rule that they set down about as soon as i was old enough to understand it....

i wonder how long this'll turn out to be when i press the post button. well time to find out...

Congratulations on being able to spell 'piqued' right. That word's come up in conversation in other forums several times over the last couple of weeks, and even my ex who has three degrees still spells it 'peaked'.
Anyway... don't know the name of the journal, but if you really want to find it it'll be dated around late march sometime, and will be two or three journals ending with the one which is almost an entire e-mail copied and pasted, from the ex-flatmate who threatened 'legal action' if I didn't return the $5.00 key which I'd paid for, after he and another flatmate stole about $700 worth of my stuff. The reason I don't talk to my friend now is because he was pretending it was all my fault, somehow, so I got pissed off with him.

"...how would feel if your friend suddnely dissapears and no one knows where hes gone..." I can relate to that part of it, but not the bit about getting in touch with them again to find that they consider a complete jerk more of a friend than you.

"...for most of them it means absolutely nothing if i drop dead tomorrow."

"...hopefully you'll still me here for me to talk to." Of course I would. Why wouldn't I? I'm not going anywhere.
I consider you a friend too. You don't need to have met someone to get to know them, or to like them. Although it is a bit strange that I already get on so well with you when I don't even know much about you, like what you look like, how old you are, and where you live (except that it's in a smallish town on an island somewhere on the east(?) coast of north america? If I remember rightly, which I probably don't.)

I like the term 'kindred spirits'. If you think about it, it really just means 'someone whose soul is like mine.' But since I don't believe in the existence of a soul it's really just a beautiful poetic allusion, to me. But I still like it.

As for the friends you don't trust, but still hang out with, I just go with the word aquaintences. People I know, but who aren't friends. Yet.

Good on you for sticking with chastity before marriage. I hope you're doing it because you want to, and not just because your parents expect it. Personally I'm of two minds about it; I've seen a lot of failed marriages because one or both of the people were chaste; a good sex life is almost essential to a good relationship. Almost. But also it's far too easy (especially with the media influences we have ) to feel pressured into doing something you haven't thought through, or with the wrong person.
I wish I'd waited. Although if I actually /had/ waited, I wouldn't have met someone who's now a good friend, and I also probably wouldn't have got to know someone who's now one of my best friends. So I guess it worked out, in a way. Perhaps it's important to go with your heart, and not be bullied, and be sure that you won't regret what you do. Or at least, be sure that if you do it, you'll regret it less than you would regret not doing it. And vice versa. Or something. I've just confused myself.

i jsut learned to spell it from reading so much. its one of my favorite things to do.

ok now i'm determined to go and find that journal. just so i can post something sympathetic and actaully know somewhat what i'm talking about. instead of jsut saying oh i'm sorry taht happened to you. which i am. but anyway...

"Of course I would. Why wouldn't I? I'm not going anywhere.
I consider you a friend too. You don't need to have met someone to get to know them, or to like them. Although it is a bit strange that I already get on so well with you when I don't even know much about you, like what you look like, how old you are, and where you live (except that it's in a smallish town on an island somewhere on the east(?) coast of north america? If I remember rightly, which I probably don't.) "
ok here we go... i' glad you'll still be around. i only said that because it seems that everyone goes away from me in the end. i dont know why. it is strange that we get on so well. i'm glad i met you. every post i read i learn something new. and i feel a little better about myself. i only hope i can in some small way return the favour. hmm.. you dont know about me. lets see if i cant fill you in a little. i live in a little town on an island on the west coast of canada. i'm 17, but i like to have fun. what i supppouse i mean by that is that some of my 'aquaintences' roll their eyes and others jsut laugh. but for example the other day i went bowling (the time before i told you about) and was feeling happy about the way the tread on my high tops glowed. and i've still got my whinnie the pooh wall paper and blankets. although i've got a new room in the garage that i've painted up. its all spiffy. i think you'd like it. i'd give you pictures but i dont have your email any you cant psot pictures oh hootoo. but its black dark purple and red. the kind of red that i got some on a mat in the house and my mom was concerned that someone had but their foot because it looked like blood. its all very fun to finally be moving away from the whinnie the pooh wall paper... my mom wont let me paint over it... but where was i... oh yes. rihgt. i'm jsut going into grade 12 at the end of summer. i've got dark brown hair that goes down just past my armpits. with a few pieces of hair in the front that are almost to my chin, i guess you could call them banges (is that how you spell that). my eyes are green. and i think they're nifty. they're green wiht a black outline and a sort of thin yellow ring around the pupil. i seem to be a little shorter than most girls my age, and thats about all i can think of to describe myself. i dont really know what to say about myself. i think you know a bit already. not very self confiednt, stresses out too easily, ect. if you've got any questions you can think of go right ahead and ask. so how about yourself?

guess what i was right. he finally decided to talk to me today, and i came back no questions asked. it was on msn and all he said was "on and off. hope your day's going well." gee wiz being friends is stupid. i certainly wish i didnt care so much about my friends... but oh well. watch out all people i call friends! you're stuck wiht my undying care and loyalty!

"I like the term 'kindred spirits'. If you think about it, it really just means 'someone whose soul is like mine.' But since I don't believe in the existence of a soul it's really just a beautiful poetic allusion, to me. But I still like it."
i believe in the existence of hte soul. i'm glad too, otherwise i'd be permanantly sad. and really have to wonder what the point is, i mean more than i do already. but you're right no matter what you believe its a nice thing. i like it too i think it works quite nicely.

you're right. i dont think you actually have to meet someone to get to know them or like them. i mean i could be lying about everything anbd so could you. but i dont really see the point of doing that, and i'm not lying... and i mean in my description of myself i didnt feel obliged to embelesh myself i dont see why i wold i think our chances of actually meeting are about nil. too bad.

and i am doing the whole chastity before marriage thingy for myself. i've no desire to end up in a tricky situation or be called names. guys have it easier in that regard. maybe i'm wrong... and you can tell me if i am. but i'm pretty sure.

"Perhaps it's important to go with your heart, and not be bullied, and be sure that you won't regret what you do"
i think thats right. and it seems to apply to everything. absolutely everything.


"I've just confused myself"
its ok... i think i kinda understand what you're trying to say.

somewhere you mentioned a shoulder to cry on.... i hope that the waterproofing you mentioned is good. because if you're not going anywhere and i'm not going any where i've got the feeling i'm gonna need it. and you're right depression is rather contagous i'm glad i've got someone to talk to. thanks Jerms

I like Canada. Never actually been there, yet, but I want to. I've promised my ex (her name is Ambrese) that I'll come to visit her in Toronto one day when I can afford it. Unless she's not in Toronto, in which case I'll visit her wherever she is if I can afford it, and visit family in Vancouver instead. Um. Hm.

17 is a bit younger than I thought you were, but that doesn't change anything. I'm just glad I didn't have to guess!

Fun is good! Winnie the pooh is also cool. There's a restaurant in town which has winnie the pooh high chairs available... it has winnie and piglet and a pot of honey on it, and also the phrase "Pooh, the best kind of friend"... except they forgot the comma, so it makes me laugh every time I see it.

I can give you my e-mail address if you like, I don't mind. Just please don't send me huge lists of e-mail addresses, they take up too much space.

I've never heard the word banges, or however it's spelt. I assume that's the same as a fringe? Green eyes are also cool.

I'm glad you believe in a soul. Good for you. I'm also glad you chose chastity for yourself. I'm sure you'll be tempted a few times, but just be honest to yourself and you'll be fine.
I'm not sure what you mean by tricky situations or being called names; they're both going to happen whether you're chaste or not. Either way, again, just be honest and things stay much simpler.
Yeah, males do have it kind of easier, in some ways. But not in others. I'll be happier when they finally release the male injection pill; that'll shift the social structure of it a bit.

"...I could be lying about everything and so could you." Yeah, but as you say, what would be the point? If I lied I'd have to remember all the lies I made, just so I don't contradict myself later. The truth is much easier. Besides, life is complicated enough without making it worse.

"...it seems to apply to everything."

My shoulder is here for you any time you need it.

i live near vancouver but i wont say wihch island near vancouver... i think thats too much of a give away if you really wanted to know where i live... i'm constantly being warned...

you can give me your email address if you want to see the pictures. and you dont have to worry. i try not to bother people wiht annoying forewards and stuff.

hmm... ny tricky situations i meant getting preganant, and by being called names i meant like slut or something. so yeah...

"Yeah, but as you say, what would be the point? If I lied I'd have to remember all the lies I made, just so I don't contradict myself later. The truth is much easier. Besides, life is complicated enough without making it worse."
so true. i really wouldnt be able to remember who i'd told what and i have enough problems remembering that wihtout having to remember which version of the truth i gave them.

what time is it there? here its about 12:20pm..... are you going to tell me about yourself?

i dont have any good pictures of me... well i have one but its not digital, and i still think it makes my nose look a little to big. but maybe thats jsut emotional scaring from when someone used to tease me about my nose...

"...I wont say which island..." Fair enough. It's not as if it makes any difference to me anyway.

Well if you want, my e-mail address is jermsg777 (at) yahoo.co.nz
I won't be able to do anything with the pictures apart from see them and goo "Ooh" and "Aah", so I'm not hugely fussed about getting them, although I am a little curious.

Pregnancy can be avoided in lots of different ways, and being called a slut can happen to virgins too.

The time here is ten to eight at night. We're GMT +12 in NZ, the first to see the new day. Apart from some skuzzball little islands in the middle of the pacific who don't count anyway.

Oh and I forgot to describe myself. Um. Well I think you already know most of it: I'm six foot one, thin, usually dress in black, have blond hair when it can't be avoided. I usually have a goatee, but mainly that's 'coz the nerves in my chin got damaged when my jaw got broken last year and it's uncomfortable to shave. Um. I'm twentythr...wait no twentyfour now. I'm a computer nerd, although I try to pretend I'm not. Fairly pale, mostly because I spend most of my day in these computer labs at uni and when I don't have uni I tend to only wake up at about 4pm sp I don't see a heck of a lot of sun... my knees haven't seen sunlight in seven years, I think they glow in the dark. Um.
As for clothing, you already know about my chainmail choker; it was one of the first pieces of chainmail I made, and I made it /to fit/ so it's perfect for my neck. And it's really old now, so it's also really shiny. I've also just made a chainmail glove, made out of three millimeter links, which I think is the smallest chainmail in the world. I don't mind wearing dresses or skirts occasionally, but usually I'll wear pants underneath anyway. I have two trenchcoats; a NZ navy trenchcoat for summer, and a thick woolen croatian army one for winter, which I've put various bits of chainmail on too.
Um. Personality: I've always been pretty smart but I've also always been lonely; I have two half brothers and two half sisters but they're all much older than me, so I pretty much grew up as an only child. I used to find it hard to relate to people my own age, so most of my friends were either a bit younger or much older than me, but it was still pretty excluding during school. I'm still fairly shy because of it. Buh. I can't think of anything else, can you think of anything?

i'll send the pictures when i'm done... and it'd be nice if you ohh... and ahhh.. over them, but you dont have to.

and now i know what you look like. i dont own a trench coat.i used to want one, because i watched dick tracy and shows like that. but after what happened at colombine i dont want to. it now seems to mean somehtig to wear one. and although i'm not usually the kind of person to care much about that, this time i do. it was really terrible what happened there, so i dont want to think of it, i dont want to remind people, and i dont want to be confused with someone who agrees whit what happend or whatever....


so why chain mail? i think thats cool and stuff, i dont really have any creative hobbies. i think i must have been shut down by teachers at a young age or something. sometimes i make small colages, and i like to write and doodle. but they all seem to go hidiously wrong somehow. wiht writing my problem is definately that i get caught up in describing all the little insignificant details.

happy 24th birhtday. jsut out of curiosity how old did you think i was? dont worry i wont get offended. i'm not that kind of person.

and i cant think of anything else but it i do i'll ask.

i'm off to bed now ,its actually the next day... 1:36am... sweet dreams Jerms. hope you have a good day tomorrow

I understand how you wouldn't want to wear a trenchcoat because of Columbine, although again I find myself offering my personal view in contrast (Tell me to shut up if you get sick of hearing what I think! )... Tragic things happen all the time, all over the world. Most of them we never hear about, because they're not covered by international media (ie. American news networks). I'm not going to stop wearing a warm coat which was really cheap, in the middle of winter, just because someone might get the wrong impression. There's a slippery slope argument there which could end up with me never wearing anything. So I'm not going to bother.

Chainmail is cheap, and versatile, and easy to make - as long as I don't get sick of it!
I've heard that creativity can be exercised, like a muscle. The more you use it the better it gets. If you want to become more creative, just start off by allowing yourself to daydream more. Let me know if it works!
"With writing my problem is definately that I get caught up in describing all the little insignificant details." Well they say that god is in the details; all the best writers are able to describe a scene using only the small details; the trick is to know which details to use. And that's why people write draft copies!

I'm not sure how old I thought you were; I figured since you were still at school and living at home you couldn't be more than about 18, but you seem really mature so probably not less than 15. I guess I would have guessed about 17 anyway.

And I did think of one more question last night; is Arisztid Lugosi your birth name? I'm guessing it's not, but Arisztid's the Hungarian version of Aristides, right? And Lugosi has connotations of Bela Lugosi... wait! Bela Lugosi was Hungarian too, wasn't he? Are you Hungarian?

i dont think that i'll ever get tired of hearing your ideas. i mean if you're going to listen to me then its only fair that i listen to you. and besides. every time you share your opinion with me i learn something new. its cool, and very helpful.

i never thought of doing a good copy of any stories. except for my ones for school. however i wrote a story the other night, or actually morning. at about 3 or so. it didnt turn out too bad. its about a little green dragon. it starts out not too hapily. but then it got too cepressing so i decided to give it a happy ending.

i turn 18 on oct.23rd. so you were very close.

Arisztid Lugosi isnt my birth name. but by a total and complete accident my initials are actually AL, i didnt even notice untill someone, i think it was you or job, called me AL up till then everyone called me Arisz. bela lugosi's real name was Arisztid Olt and i decided that i didnt wnat to be known as 'i've come to regard you as people i've met'. so when i changed i i was going to be Arisztid Olt, but then i didnt want any one ot think i was trying pertend ot be bela so i decided to tchange it a little.

about the coat. i think its ok if you already owned one or whatever, but i dont want to go and buy one... its never really cold enough for one here... and i cant really explain, i know what you mean about bad things happening, but well... i dont know, i cant explain why. but yeah, if yu oalready owned one then by all means keep wearing it. i guess its jsut cause some people have actually tried to so what happened at colombine, well i still cant explain it veryt well.... its jsut kinda a feeling.

Keep listening to your feelings; they're important!

Hmm. You're a Scorpio? Your birthday's almost the same as my friend Ally's. Although you seem to differ from most Scorpios I've met in one fairly major way... but that's okay. I'm not a classical Leo, either.
It's hard to pidgeonhole people accurately.

I've just realised that one translation of Arisztid Olt is "Just Old"! I never knew he changed his name... cool.

i'll keep listening to my feelings.

actually on most things i've read i'm a libra... but whatever. do you want to know something really really weird. i mean really . ok here goes, i'd decided to never tell anyone my ral name here on h2g2, but after reading that how can i not say anything? my real name is Alli, so spelled different, but still vert weird.

i didnt know he'd changed his name untill i was looking at this baby name book and i saw his name and then his real name. i think its cool, but i'm not sure i wouldnt have changed my name if i'd been in his shoes...

Actually even the spelling of her name is variable; her name's Alison, but most people call her Ally, but they only ever say it and she doesn't care how it's spelt, so it could be Alli. In my phone she's Ali-cat. And that's only so I don't get her confused with another friend Abbi. Or another friend Alison.

well this jsut gets weirder and weirder... my mom calls me alli-cat and some of my friends used to. how very odd...

I guess that's not so weird; Once you've got the name Alli it's easy to make the next step to Alley-cat.
Besides... every Alison I've ever met has been pretty cuddly and kitten-like.

interesting. i've only ever met one alison and she was really mean... it was in girl guides... yes i used to do that, when i was in grade 3 and 4.

well you've jsut met annother cuddley kitten like allison. well not just met, but you know what i mean. i like cuddling... i think i should have been a cat...

I was in the scouts.

I like cats. I like it when they purr...