This is a Journal entry by Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

I've discovered...

Post 1

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

...that accidentally getting toothpaste in your eye really hurts. However it still somehow tastes like mint, and leaves your pupils feeling REALLY clean. ..

...that hanging wet washing out when it's freezing gets it dry faster than when it's warm.

...that the algorithms I'm trying to test at home would work much better if I wrote them in Java instead of C++, dammit.

...that I don't like people assuming mainstream qualities about me on the basis of first impressions, because it makes me uncomfortable. I have to think about this some more, so I can find out why.

...that there are still people in Hamilton I don't know! This is a shocker; a city (town) of 380,000 and I thought I knew everyone worth knowing. Aparrantly not.

...that the rule of thumb that there are six degrees of separation or less, between any two people anywhere on earth, is probably true. It would make for a good drinking game, too.

...that my umbrella is broken. D'oh!


I've discovered...

Post 2

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Oh and I forgot to mention that I also discovered a /really/ good covers band in my playlist. They're called 'unknown artist'.
The strange thing is that even though all of their songs are really accurate and cover a wide variety, almost every single one of them is called 'untitled'. Go figure. smiley - winkeye


I've discovered...

Post 3

Arisztid Lugosi

interesting... i didnt know that about tooth paste. i only knew that i feel sick if i swallow it. and that it makes your face feel weird if you put it on, and that it didnt help my pimple. darn my cousin! it was probably some trick just to see me put tooth paste on my face.

"i that I don't like people assuming mainstream qualities about me on the basis of first impressions, because it makes me uncomfortable. I have to think about this some more, so I can find out why."
its funny, about that. i just have to laugh. and yet it scares me a lot. then i start to worry that perhaps i'm mainstream. and then i have to tell myself that no thats silly. but usually i jsut laugh. it means that my cover over all those years was very effective. however i've given up pretending to be someone i'm not. and am busy being contented with myself regardless what anyone thinks. people say first impressions are everything. but i think thats kinda sad becasue it pretty much means that everyone judges by appearences. and that makes me a little sad. i wish people wouldnt do that. but i guess its their loss....


I've discovered...

Post 4

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Yeah I heard that about toothpaste and pimples too; never quite tried it though.
I thought it was just me who felt sick if I swallowed toothpaste; ever since my jaw was broken last year I've gagged every time I've brushed my teeth. Still don't know why. smiley - erm

In theory, I'm not worried about being seen as mainstream. Until I watch TV or something and think "Thank god I don't think like those people."
But it's also true that I'm the only person I have to live my life for... nobody else. So if I wasn't a goth I'd just be lying to myself... my outside appearance should be a fairly accurate reflection of the inside, otherwise that nuisance 'first impressions' thing comes back to haunt me and I feel like I've misled people.

Because of the studies I've done over the last few years, I know that everyone judging by appearances is something that will never go away; it's part of how our brains work. It is a pity, and it's also true that we all want what we can't have, which is why you'll find you get more respect from 'mainstream' people the first time you meet them than from 'alternative' people, if you dress 'alternatively'.

I'm trying to live by the maxim of just being true to myself. It's actually really hard to do that without completely ignoring everyone.

smiley - cheers


I've discovered...

Post 5

Arisztid Lugosi

"my outside appearance should be a fairly accurate reflection of the inside"
hmm...yes... actually yesterday i was wearing all black and a very fun lime green t-shirt. and i said to myself 'oh AL... its not black...." and then i decided that was silly and that i would wear whatever i liked and i dont care. and i also felt a little better when i remembered about the pink sweatshirt.

"you'll find you get more respect from 'mainstream' people the first time you meet them than from 'alternative' people, if you dress 'alternatively'."
interesting i hadnt really noticed that. but i only started to not dress mainstream toward the end of last school year. so i havnt really had time ot notice.

"I'm trying to live by the maxim of just being true to myself. It's actually really hard to do that without completely ignoring everyone. "
i try and do that myself, without addopting the whole FTW outlook on life. and its really hard. to care about someones opinion but dress differently anyway. it came as quite a shock to me just the other day when i was watching a tv show (stargate... i'm a sci-fi nut) that one of my favorite actors would probably not like me because of who i am. and that may not be at all true, but afterall it is hollywood, so i'm not too sure i'd be welcome there. but i dont want to go, so... whatever.

i wish someone cool would wave at me... like that guy you mentioned in the other conversation... i've never been waved at by anyone cool have i? no, dont think so. i've had my picture taken by a random japaneese familysmiley - erm they rhsued over told me i was so beautiful and insisted on taking my picture... it was rather odd... but no, no cool people waving..



I've discovered...

Post 6

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

I'm glad you're starting to feel comfortable just wearing what you want. smiley - cheers

Getting respect from 'mainstream' people, and noticing it, is quite a subtle thing. I only notice it because I'm an empath. If you keep your eyes out for it you may notice it, but I wouldn't be surprised if you say you don't. It's still there, though.

I'm sure I should know what FTW stands for? smiley - erm

So which actor are you talking about? And you mean the /actor/ wouldn't get along with you, right? Not the /character/? With good actors it's hard to tell the difference.
Aparrantly Richard Dean Anderson's really quite an uptight guy, although he was a bit of an idol of mine when I was really young, when he was on MacGyver. One of the main New Zealand Cultural Indentity traits is the ability to fix things in inspired ways, like he did on the show. One of my main creative inspirations, but aparrantly I wouldn't want to meet him.

Random japanese families are interesting! smiley - laugh If random people think you're beautiful that can't be a bad thing! Is this the point where I try to get you to send me a photo? smiley - winkeye
Actually, the underworld guy waving at me was not quite as cool a Paddy Free from Pitch Black waving at me too, about two hours beforehand.
http://www.pitchblack.co.nz/home.htm
But Pitch Black's a NZ band, so I didn't think anyone else would have heard of them. But I like them better. smiley - cool


I've discovered...

Post 7

Arisztid Lugosi

*blushes and looks embarassed*
umm... FTW is a hells angels term. and let me jsut take a moment to make it totally clear that i dont like them and have nothing what so ever to do with them.. now.. what said. it mean f#@k the world. no, i dont usually swear... but for some reason i dont mind using the abreviation.

and i was talking about richard dean anderson. i didnt know that he was uptight. i really ment that the character probably wouldnt like me. i dont think any of the characters would. but i guess the actors wouldnt either. but oh well. i wont stop watching the show jsut for that. i've never seem macgyver. i've tried to give up idolizing people becaue its like puting someone on a pedastal. and sooner or later they fall of. and sometimes its a little overwelming. and kinda hard to deal wiht.

a photo you say? hmm... nope my mom would kill me. and although i trust you implicity, you never can be quite too sure. i could describe myselfsmiley - erm. not quite the same thing though. i've only jsut realized that i have no idea what anyone looks like on here. its never really occured to me to think about it befoer. way to go1 now i'm all curious abot everyone! smiley - biggrin

and i suppose it isnt a bad thing if random people think i'm pretty. it was jsut a little bit of a strange feeling for me. i mean canadians dont do that.... so it was a totally new experience.

now i've got so may links to check out. i'm gonna leave them for tomorrow or i'll never answer any more posts.smiley - smiley

and i still cant think of anyone cool thats waved at me. oh well though... lucky...


I've discovered...

Post 8

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Ah yeah. Makes sense. smiley - ok

MacGyver was cool, although it's getting a bit dated now so if I were to watch it again I'd probably be thinking "How the heck did I ever enjoy this early-eighties cheese?" smiley - cheese

Idols are good things to have, even if you know they're not going to last. Aspirations can keep us motivated, even if they're just aspirations to be like someone in one respect. Like you can want to be a fantastic singer like Elvis without wanting to die of a drug overdose.

I'm not too fussed about a photo smiley - ok; to be fair I'd have to give you one of me, and I don't like most of the ones of me. Even if I could find one I'd still have to get it to uni somehow 'coz I don't have my files at uni and I don't have internet at home. smiley - erm

smiley - rofl Lol! I just this second got a text from a friend who wants me to e-mail him a photo of myself! Now THAT is serindipity! smiley - rofl

Okay, so are you Canadian or American? Was I right about the east coast part, at least?


I've discovered...

Post 9

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Wait, I've just found your other post where you've already told me where you are... smiley - run


I've discovered...

Post 10

Arisztid Lugosi

i guess you're right. and even if i didnt mean to i'd probably idolize people anyway. but it was true what you said wht that elvis example. but then people dont seem to understand that so maybe its jsut best to not tell people who your idols are smiley - erm


"Lol! I just this second got a text from a friend who wants me to e-mail him a photo of myself! Now THAT is serindipity!"
neat. thats fun. sometimes i wish i could send out my photo. but i dont really have a good one. i have a nice one of me in my last years halloween costume and it doesnt look at all like me, but thats it for me and digital images... whats serindipity?


I've discovered...

Post 11

Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.

Like synchonicity; two things happening at the same time which seem to be more than just coincidence. smiley - ok


I've discovered...

Post 12

Arisztid Lugosi

ahhh... thanks for explaining.
somehow i dont think that word would have worked as well for sting as syncronicity did...


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