h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We're doing ballads tomorrow. I've got Christians and Buddhists in my group. I thought the following poem might go down well, as it's quite spititual and animaly. But what do the the rest of you think of it? Is it easy to make sense of, and does it matter to you if it isn't? Do you like it?


THE DONKEY

When fishes flew and forests walked
And figs grew upon thorn,
Some moment when the moon was blood
Then surely I was born;

With monstrous head and sickening cry
And ears like errant wings,
The devil's walking parody
On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,
Of ancient crooked will;
Starve, scourge, deride me: I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.

Fools! For I also had my hour;
One far fierce hour and sweet:
There was a shout about my ears,
And palms before my feet.


[G. K. Chesterton]

It's not very accurate. Apart from everything else, sickening cry is not equal to dumb. Even in the fairy stories the donkey/ass is smarter than certain humans. Then again, I'm not a great fan of poetry anyway.

Even though you write it?

I assume by 'dumb' he meant 'unable to speak Human'.

> "Even though you write it?"

Yes - which is why I don't do it very often. I used to write quite a lot of poetry as a young child (before many children these days have learned to read and write). Then I decided that, as I didn't like other people's poems very much, it was a little unfair to be inflicting more of the stuff on the world. So I mostly gave up writing it. Just occasionally a few escape into the outside world anyway though - esepecially when explicitly invited. Eg I put a lot of limericks into Spook's nonsense thread (the parrot story).

I really liked your one about the train.

Actually... may I use it in a class sometime?

The invisible train was one of those which just escaped. Perhaps because it was invisible.

I suppose you can use it if you really want to. It's not like I'm planning to make money out of it. You'll have to reformat the lines if you get it off the GetWriting page though because the BBC broke the HTML formatting in a previous software update to the site and last time I looked they hadn't fixed it - but closed the site instead. Otherwise I'll have to email it to you (perhaps with the image in some form too).

You've drawn a picture of an invisible train?

I'm glad there's only donkeys and invisible trains in here - it was with some trepidation that I came in here, lest there be T*****n lurking in the shrubbery, ready to pounce.

I can cope with GKC, by the way.

Very brave of you, especially after what I did to you on the other thread! Fear not, this is a T******n-free zone. So far....

My original lesson plan has changed: we're not doing ballads any more. We're doing performance poetry. I'm going to get 'em to practise their public speaking with some well-known poems, and then they're gonna write some of their own, and then they're gonna practise reading their own work out while standing up and projecting.

Eventually, I'll get 'em doing gigs.

> "You've drawn a picture of an invisible train?"

Well I actually drew a visible picture of a visible train but I have the technology to make it invisible afterwards. It was an amusing idea I had a couple of years ago - and not the same as the HTML flashing tricks nor the standard GIF animation (which I used for the Invisible Pink Unicorn).

SEF, I can't find your thing on GetWriting. Do you have a link to it?

This picture I must see.

A2299935

SEF: "I have the technology to make it invisible"

Snailrind: "This picture I must see."

You do realise there's a fundamental problem with that, don't you?

Yup. That's why I said it.

I had a good turn-out today. They liked the train-like rhythm of your poem, SEF. And they're all fired up to do a public performance, so I booked ourselves a gig at a local poetry cafe before they changed their minds.

> "train-like rhythm"

They got one of the points then. It must be the way you tell them. I think I'll carry on staying away from things like poetry cafes myself though.

"train-like rhythm"- Last Train Home, on the album still (life) Talking, by Pat Metheny Group.

SEF, I sent you an email about the train poem, but it got returned to me unsent: the server reckons your computer refused it, but I've been getting this problem a lot with my emails. I've just resent it. Hope it reaches you this time.