h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is it just coincidence that my first journal entry appears on the same day as Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (hereafter referred to as SWE1:TPM … or somesuch) is released in the UK? Or perhaps it was a complex ploy by myself to have the film released today instead of tomorrow so I could name my first entry Episode 1. You’ll never know.

I have now seen SWE1:TPM. If you want more information, look elsewhere. If you want my opinion … I saw it twice. I’ll be seeing it again tomorrow. Draw your own conclusions.

I had a Wimpy for lunch. I thought that I had better while I still could, as that particular chain seems to be losing a lot of links. I know that there is one in Holborn and another in Twickenham. The one in Kingston has recently closed. Where are the rest? Answers on a postcard …

 

there r lots down the coast, EVIL GIRAFFE!

Which coast?

SWE1: TPM is yet another work of pure genius by my mentor and guide, Mr. George Lucas. Many people seem to be disappointed by this new installment, but I tell them that it is Episode 1 of 6 and that it cannot be the best movie ever (even though that's what they expected it to be). I also make the point that if you were to watch only one of the great epic space opera that is Star Wars, you would not be able to appreciate it nearly as much as you can after watching them all. Thus, I reserve making any criticisms on the parts of the movie that seem to be plot holes until all the movies are out and done with, since anything at this point that looks to be a plot hole, IS because there are 2 missing movies...that's a pretty damn big plot hole in my opinion. But it will be mended in time. Patience young padawan learners...in time all will be revealed, feel the Force, let it guide you in this matter.

May the Force be with us all.

There are a lot of complaints that Episode 1 was too kiddie-fied, but if you take in context of Episodes 4, 5 and 6 it does betray a certain darkness in the fact that Senetor Palpatine manipulates Queen Amidala, and willingly sacrifices his home planet for political gain. Unfortunately, it was fairly annoying that there was more luck than heroism toward the end - witness Jar-Jar Binks and Anakin Skywalker in their respective battles.

One thing I will say is that I think Jar-Jar got a lot more screen-time than his animated ass deserved. He was like Jerry Lewis with eyes coming out of the top of his head...oh wait...he WAS Jerry Lewis!

Then he must be the favourite SW character of the French

south

All along? Or just bits? Is this in any way confusing?

If I said yes, would you hold it against me?

There has been a conversation about "Wimpy", and a conversation about "Episode 1".

Okay, to disperse the confusion, change the subjet heading to whichever of these two conversations you are referring to.

Don't call me pedant!

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that one

Colour me confused. Your graphical representation resembles nothing that I can think of. Do you know where there are any Wimpy restaurants?

No, unfortunately I have never eaten in one of their fine establishments...

I am however trapped in a quagmire lost and without help for the moment in another thread...wait...I shouldn't be telling YOU this...you're the one who put me in this situation...

Double DRAT!

i can't believe u 2 r still going on about wimpy burgers?

I'm not, and never was.

I was merely attempting to converse about a movie (or rather, movies, or rather...THE MOVIES) that I am very interested in...but then he stole Sam...and I am trapped without help....a Wimpy burger sure sounds good right about now...though I've never had one. Sustenance of any kind would help at this point in time.

Evil will sustain you, Tred.

By the way, we have you surrounded!

Bwaaaa-hoooo!

Bwaaaa-hooo? Are you feeling alright? Coming down with something? Though I am surrounded, I will not faulter, I know that my superhero friends will arive at the very last moment to save me from my own demise. It's the way it always works. Besides, I know that I cannot die until I visit...oh wait, that's not me...drat, nevermind.

TRED, they won't save you. You know that, I know that, and they know that. Give it up. Join us evil-doers. You know it's so much more fun.

Bwa-da-da-daa-da-da-daaaaa

Why do you want me to join you so badly EG? (whew, that's much easier than typing Evil Giraffe all the time...oh, wait, I just did it...oh, nevermind) Do you see my powers as threatening to your evil ways and know that if you do not get me to join your so-called "dark side" you will inevitably be thwarted??? eh? Ha Ha Ha! (in a superhero, I-know-that-you-know-that-I-am-right-so-why-don't-you-just-admit-it laugh)

I know that you know that I am right, so why don't you just admit it!