h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We went on holiday on a narrow boat for a week. England has lots of canals which were built from 1759 onwards. The size of canal boats is limited by the size of the "locks" which enable boats to go from one level to another. 70 feet long and 8 feet wide is a fairly good approximation of the maximum size a boat can be. So you see narrow boat is also a good description of them and is what people call them when they aren't calling them barges.

Mrs Vestie came too along with Miss Vestie the elder, Master Vestie and Grandson Vestie (7 year old son of Miss Vestie) and Judy the dog.

We started off near Harecastle Tunnel (not too far from Stoke on Trent)and had to wait for an hour for the boats coming the other way to clear the tunnel. Mrs Vestie decided to walk Judy and Miss Vestie over the tunnel for the exercise and the scenery - which isn't too good in the tunnel.

I had exercised me desire to own more gadgets and everyone had a cheap 2 way radio with about a 5km range. Off went the girls while the boys took charge of the worthy craft. A 58 foot long narrow boat answering to the name Kimberley.

After the hour was up we got to go into the tunnel and were soon making our way bouncing from one wall to the other with Vesty jr and vesty jr jr making spooky whooo-hooo noises in the dark. Eventually (the tunnel is the best part of a mile long) we emerged into the open air and decided to see if the radios would work.

"Pilot to base can you read me, over!"
*noise of static and vestie jr jr pressing the buttons on his radio and saying stupid things*
"Hi Girls can you hear me?"
*more static and childish babble*
"D'oh!"
*Picks up mobile phone and phones Miss Vestie*
"Where are you and doesn't your radio work?"
Reply is heard on both mobile phone and radio simultaneously.
"You mean this?"
"Yes! I could have saved the price of a call if you'd keep it turned on!"
"Well we're only a couple of minutes away look out for us."
*Waits for a couple of minutes. Radio crackles into life.*
"Oh dad, you won't believe it. We've taken the wrong turn and ended up back at the beginning of the tunnel."

*Noise of vestie putting kettle on and feet up.*

Canal holidays shouldn't be about rushing should they?

yeah. Oh well, such is life, eh?