h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not sure if I need my ears washed out or whether I will just have to wait to acclimatise, but I keep mishearing things.

A young woman was telling me about a play she had been in, "It was a play about a fart. Two men were farting. They were farting over a woman."

Then it clicked and I almost jumped. It was a play about a fight. Two men were fighting. They were fighting over a woman. I was so relieved.

Can you imagine my consternation when I heard that a man I knew was a cannibal.
"He's a cannibal."
Dumb look on my fizzog.
"He can try and deny it, but in the end it's his responsibility. He's a cannibal"

Jump again as it sinks in, "He's accountable!"
Woohoo! My liver is safe and the fava beens can stay in the tin.