h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So after three Christmas seasons in a row of swearing to never work in retail over Christmas again, here I am, back in the centre of the city...a sucker for punishment. We have a new boss, and he's a control freak - the kind that tells you to do something you're already doing just to have told you something.

Today was an interesting one - we had someone try and steal about $60 worth of stock, he didn't make a fuss or anything but came back in and paid for it, he had clearly been checking to see which items would go off as they went through the door so we knew he was up to something!

As soon as we got rid of him, we heard this huge bang outside, it sounded lke a car accident - the staff near the door yelled to call for an ambulance and ran outside, so I dailed 000 and got them on their way, then went to get the portable phone from the manager so that I could go out to whatever had happened outside and give the emergency people more information - my friend and I have both been trained in intensive first aid, and there were nurses from the blood bank there (the lady had fallen down an escalator after donating blood next door), but the manager insisted on completely taking over, sending us all inside while taking over from me on the phone with the operator. There was just no need - one of those pointless control-freak things to do - it's so infuriating to work with someone who doesn't respect what anyone else is doing!

Ah well, the money is good, and it's not for ever!

At the risk of sounding moralistic, you should've told him to off and, if necessary, forcibly restrained him from intervening, boss or no boss - though it doesn't seem like it was quite so serious, it's potentially someone's life at risk from idiots like that...

yeah I know, but all I was doing was liasing with the 000 desk, there were other people actually with the lady, it didn't really matter that much, just him pulling rank for the sake of pulling rank. He had no idea what was going on, didn't know anything about the accident, just jumped in for no reason. Stupid b*st*rd.

Reminds me of the Blackadder episode (Season two) where he's in the dungeon with Melchett and a random torturer from the spanish inquisition. The torturer's speaking to Melchett in Spanish, and Blackadder insists that he be the one spoken to. So they slowly turn around, and the torturer addresses Blackadder in a torrent of Spanish. At that point, having made himself important, he turns around to Melchett and says "Now, what's he saying?"

that's exactly it! I'm working with Blackadder!

So who does that make you? Melchett? Queen Elizabeth? Nursie? Kate/Bob? Baldrick?

we-ell....I choose to withhold my answer at this point

What exactly is "chritsmas", anyway? Is it the atheist version of christmas? Should I be celebrating chritsmas, instead of christmas?

"Bob"..... it just doesn't have the same meaning when it's typed out like that, does it? Without the correct intonation and emphasis given to it by Bladders, it's just another name.

oh dear...it seems my fingers gave caught a bad case of dyslexia again - it's all these carols and joyousness - it does funny things to a person.