h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Date: Something after the first of January but considerably before Christmas.
So this is my journal, huh? Well what the hell am I meant to do with it? Is it edible?? Not likely! Can you listen to it say really funny things about nonsensical issues that'll have you wetting your pants your laughing so much? No.
So what is the point of the journal? It provides no asthetic satisfaction to the author, and who the hell else is going to do anything with it? I suppose if no one else is reading this I'm talking to myself which is incredibly depressing, although I suppose it's better than smashing my head into a brick wall, which, although painful, can be quite amusing (especially if you're watching someone else do it).
Anyhoo, any ideas? Something that is small anough to fit in my head would be appreciated. Ta.

If you are really THAT bored, why not try some random poetry?
Simply check out an internet search engine's list of things people have searched by: for example WebCrawler's is http://webcrawler.com/cgi-bin/SearchTicker
Then extract your favourite searches, divide into verses, and giving an exciting title.
Here's one I prepared earlier, called "thin AND lizzy":


guitar building
bone marrow transplant
holidays around the world
what's on tv in salt lake city?

why do I feel like I am being watched?
+the +incredible +hulk +sounds
inspirational sayings
"rubik's cube"

prostition
Where can i find ways to meet guys?
"drunk chicks"
HOW CAN I GET MY PUPPY TO CALM DOWN