h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*thinks of Hertz*

Thanks a lot. I tried to forget about that little con scheme.

*is reminded of a certain jailbird*

Thanks a lot. I've been trying to forget the father of my baby.

*thinks of a certain hunchbacked norwegian*

Thanks a lot- I was just beginning to block out the face of my natural father!

*thinks of a certain pop star*

Thanks a lot. I didn't want to be reminded that Michael Jackson's a father while I am still single.

Thanks for rubbing in the fact that I'm single, you... boob!

Who's calling who a boob you clavicle?!

Uvula!

*sniffs haughtily*

My name is most certainly *not* Vula.

V***a?

*That's* my middle name. Don't wear it out.

Am I the only one who thought Jerry Seinfeld's date's name was Dolores (as in rhymes with...)?

Wait a minute. I thought it was Gladys.

That's a stretch

Not as much as Edith.

*opens his mouth in mock shock*

Frankly, I would have thought you were worldly enough to handle Edith.

Virgin Ears

That's not the word on the street. I was told your ears have been around the block--and back.

No. Who told you that? Mrs Olson? You'd think a ninety-eight year old parapalegic would have better things to do on her time than soil my name

Mrs Olson told me that it was *you* who got her perked up in the morning, not Folgers Coffee.