h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The main headlines:

Giving fords a lift to the station this morning, I had to swerve to avoid a cyclist who had decided that he was going to have right of way no matter what, resulting in the left front wheel of the car hitting the kerb with an almighty bang.

Came home from work to find that hootoo was all over the place and a certain researcher had flooded my conversations with pointless drivel posted to the h2g2 Announcements page despite the very clear message which asks you not to do so.

Went to get another to replace Derek (RIP) and got a bollocking from the woman in the pet shop because I hadn't brought the deceased back to the shop. Of course, I'm going to go out in the middle of summer with a dead fish in my pocket.

Bough a new kyboard and foun tha it works evn less well thn th useless one I bought it to replace.

'creeps in a hard hat n leaves a large whisky'

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Maybe they do an exchange scheme like when you buy a faulty CD...

Apparently if you take your deceased pet back to the shop they send it away to be cremated. Right. A goldfish.

You should have asked if they'd do chips with it!

I was ready to punch her in the throat. "You sold me a fish that died within five days, and *you're* having a go at *me*?"

If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.

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What amazes me is that people don't realise this... they'll happily whinge to friends, parents, the wrong department of whatever company is causing them grief... but NEVER will they just do an official complaint.

I should have just gone into the shop, slapped the dead fish down on the counter and shouted "I wish to register a complaint!"

If there'd been a bloke behind the counter you'd have had to open by saying "'Ello miss."

They'd have been ready for it - I did that last week.

You know that she wanted you to take the fish back to the shop so that she could tell you it wasn't dead.

And cremation is bad for the environment. All that smoke. Bury it in the garden (or put it on the compost heap which is where my small dead animals go) where it can feed all the flowers (or stones). If you haven't already flushed it of course...

You did check that Derek wasn't just "resting" before you flushed him, right?

I'm pretty sure he wasn't just resting upside down at the top of the tank...

And who collects all the dead fish out of the sea every morning and cremates them? Stupid cow.

It is probably one of those sill rules from Defra - we need special permission to release any bodies back to the owner for burial.

But if you hadnt told her the fish was dead and were just getting another one then it is no skin off her nose. It is not as if she had Derek when he died.

However, Defra aka the government wasting our money never ceases to amaze me

I never actually said that I'd flushed him down the la... I mean, buried him at sea. It was just when I said I didn't have the body with me she assumed that was what had happened.

Did you just change your name there?I'm sure it said something else in the time between me reading post and posting blah blah blah

How, when, what wah?Oh you're not 2 legs

My parental units and I never took any of our dead fish back to the pet shop.

In fact on a number of occasions we only realised noe of the fish ahd died because the number had decreased as the other fish had had a snack while we were out.

Take her a cod steak or a fish finger next time you go in.
"Is there any way we can revivie it?"

I've kept fish for many years and I never heard a request for the body of a dead one before. Maybe SHE could have got a refund from her supplier, thereby making two lots of dosh.

Poor EV, that awful day he had and the only thing we're commenting on is his dead fish.

How's the new fish, by the way?

When are you going to write up a meet-journal?

When are you going to publish photos, and are there any you'd like a bribe not to publish?


Thanks for the heads-up on your user name, I remembered it


Thanks for the quiz - great fun