h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who was it that decided women's shoes had to all be totally ridiculous? Here I am, looking for a pair of plain black lace-up boots, and can I find any? Can I bogroll. Men's shoe departments are full of sensible footwear in black and brown, and women's shoe departments are full of tiny bits of red and silver leather held together with paper clips and huge spikes on the heels. What a "sensible" state of affairs, eh...

But if all the shoes were comfortable and long lasting, they wouldn't sell as many pairs, so there wouldn't be as many shops around to offer a complete lack of choice. What did DNA say? '.. and all the shoes were either much too wide, or much too thin, and, or in extreme cases, joined together at the heels'. (hope I got that right. And don't even get me _started_ on Oxford street...)

Given the number of different shoeshop chains (even if most are ultimately owned by 2 or 3 companies), it is a little odd that they all seem to stock exactly the same styles of shoes at all times of the year.

Myself, I find significant hassle trying to get a decent choice of men's trousers with a waist less than 32 inches. Many of the ones I do find seem to be made by someone who assumes anyone with a 30" waist must have legs like a couch-bound anorexic. As a slim, yet legwise-stocky, caver and cyclist, I find this a more than a little annoying. Being told 'Well, we don't sell many of those' doesn't help. In my experience, shops only tend to sell the things they actually bother to stock.
What _I'd_ like to know is 'What are blokes supposed to wear before they get fat enough to buy trousers of an approved size' - Was I supposed to have balooned to a 34 waist by age 16 or something? I know people are getting heavier these days, but I didn't realise it was being made compulsory.
I did once end up putting a little weight on (desk work, no exercise, lots of company-bought pizza), but it cunningly assembled itself into a spare tyre just ABOVE the waistline. Bugger. Took 3 months to acquire, but a couple of years to get rid of.

I hate shoes.

I'm not surprised - you probably have to buy three pairs at a time, don't you? And I bet your feet stick to the insoles...

Personally I only ever own 1 pair of shoes at a time. The trainers I have at the moment have a huge hole in the front that's 1" x 3/4", and that lets in lots of water when it rains, so my feet get soaked.
Why do shoes exist, I wonder?
And why High Heels? I never understood the point of them, unless their supposed to give women bad feet and make them fall over always.