h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't usually share cop stories here, at least not the current ones. This struck as kind of funny.

Earlier tonight I was checking one of our parks. We've had some problems, and we're strictly enforcing the closing time. If you're there after that, we run the people out. I saw two cars in the parking lot, so I pulled in and parked. First I checked the bathrooms. We've had some graffiti in there form men soliciting sex from other men. No one was there. So I walked around behind the bathrooms. They're in a high point of the park, and standing behind them you can see most of the park if it's light outside. I heard some whimpering. I couldn't quite figure out where it was coming from.

I started walking down into the shadows. I was moving quietly. I still heard the noises. I didn't know what I might be able to turn up. Finally I saw them, two people at a picnic table. One was sitting, and one was standing. I couldn't see if they were talking or what. Then I noticed a funny motion like a dog humping a leg. Of course, he wasn't humping a leg. The girl had her legs spread.

I identified myself as the police. I gave them a couple of minutes of darkness to compose themselves before I illuminated them. They were laughing. I'd be scared out of my wits if I was caught mid-coitus by the police. I ran them off.

It just tickled me a bit.