h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today is by way of being the completion of year long circle for my wife and I. Perhaps slightly less than a year, but it must have been some time in early January that we became definitely worried about a friend of ours called Arthur. He is an old chap (he changes he mind routinely as to how old) diabetic, overweight, and well nigh blind. He had been falling frequently and at least friends of ours had helped him into an ambulance from a prostrate position on the pavement. It was to these friends that we had already turned. We had met Arthur when we live in tHe same building as him, but now moved to a different part of the town. Our friends still lived in the adjacent building and since our phone calls had gone unanswered for longer than we were happy with we asked them to knock on his door and see if he was okay. They got no response, and further confirmed that they had not seen him around the area for some time. Due to his age and infirmity (he almost never went out, if he had gone out and not come back, anything could have happened) we were worried enough to call the police.
To cut a long story short, the police eventually tracked him down to the local hospital. He had suffered a severe diabetic attack and been found when the nurse from his doctor's surgery came by to check his insulin levels. He had subsequently been admitted to hospital and then trasnfered to the psyciatric ward where it was concluded that he had developed senile dementia. In the months since then we have spoken to him numerous times on the phone. Many of you will doubtless be familliar with the peculiar experience of talking with someone who has spilled their marbles and failed to pick them all up. It had been all the more confusing as we didn't entirely know what of his accont was true, and what was invention. Today, after having established that he had moved to a care home we could easily get to, we took our rabbit and hare with us and went to visit him. He was deleighted to see Luna and Eclipse, and they were very happy to see him. It was the sort of truncated visit you mught expect with someone who has a diminshed grip on reality. But the news was very good- the flat he had been living was in an increasingly deplorable state of hygiene. Where he is now there is communcal space but he has a very nice room of his own. It is beautifully clean, spacious enough for his needs and comes with en-suit facilities and a television. He has added an expensive but extremely comfortable electric recliner. He has lost a great deal of weight (he needed to) looks a lot healthier and reports that his eyesight has considerably improved. We had wanted to get him into a care home a good while ago. The trip there wasn't what we would have chosen for him, but he is happy and health in a nice home where he is well looked after, which is as much as we could have asked for.

[Amy P]

People tend to see going into a care home as a last resort kind of thing, but I do think sometimes it's just the best thing all round.

My father-in-law lives in warden controlled accommodation and everyone seems to feel that the most important thing in the world is his independent. No, it's not. The most important thing in the world is that he knows if he needs to get to the toilet urgently there is someone around to help him. And there just isn't. Unless it coincides with the four times a day someone goes in to help with meals & hygiene.

I'm so glad your friend is in the best place for him. I'm sure he's much happier.

Deb

Whether he's entirely happy seems to vary somewhat, he's quite paranoid (his solictor has taken money from him, his house has been ransacked...) which is I think a feature of his dementia. But he seems pretty content. He never did much more that sit in front of the TV anyway, so now he does it in a nice chair in a clean room with a nurse checking him every day and people to keep an eye on him.

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