h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

some of my fave songs from the simpsons!

A glove slap in a little old face will
Get you satisfaction.
Glove slap ba-a-beee ...
(Glove slap, baby)
Glove slap, baby, glove slap!
Glove slap, I don't take crap!
Glove slap, shut your big yap.


Glove slap, shut your big yap.
(Oooh, glove baby, that's where it's at. Yeah!)
(Glove, baby, give it a... )


Homer: Call Mr. Plow,
That's my name,
That name again
Is Mr. Plow.


Homer: Simpson! Homer Simpson!
He's the greatest guy in history,
From the, town of Springfield!
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!
Waaaah!


Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
Patty+Selma: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[big finish]
Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!


Hens love roosters, geese love ganders,
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

Homer: Not me!

Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!



Homer: Oh Mindy, you came and you gave without flaking,
But I sent you Ben-gay,
Oh Andy, you kissed me and stopped me from something,
And I...


Homer: Oh Margie, you came and you found me a turkey,
On my vacation away from workie...




All: Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!

Karl: Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Lenny: Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
Alien: We do! We do!

All: Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!

Skinner: Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Homer: Who rigs every Oscar night?
All: We do! We do!



Burns: Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.

See this hat, 'twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.

Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle
It shall rest,

Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.

Like my loafers? Former gophers -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo
Would be best,

So let's prepare these dogs,
Mrs. Potts: Kill two for matching clogs,
Burns: See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.




Homer: Hey big spender, dig this blender,
Rainbow suspenders, hey big spender!

Citizens: We surrender!

Homer: Speeeeeeend some dough at table three.


(to the tune of "Staying Alive")

Homer: Ah ah ah ah Table Five, Table Five,
Ah ah ah ah Table Fiiii-i-i-iii-i-i-iii-i-i-ive,
Table Five, Table Five.



Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll...
Like Cletus
The slack-jawed yokel.
...
Most folk'll never lose a toe
And then again, some folk'll...
Like Cletus
The slack-jawed yokel.


Frink: Professor Frink, Professor Frink,
He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think,
He likes to run, and then the thing,
With the... person...



Homer: You could close down Moe's,
Or the Kwik-E-Mart,
And nobody would care,
But the heart and soul
Of Springfield's in
Our Maison Derriere!

(music starts)

Belle: We're the sauce on your steak,
We're the cheese in your cake,
We put the spring in Springfield.
Dancing Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown,
Dancing Girl 2: The point after touchdown,
Belle and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.

Belle: We're that little extra spice
That makes existence extra-nice,
A giddy little thrill
At a reasonable price.
Lovejoy: Our only major quarrel's
With your total lack of morals.
Dancing Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad,
Dancing Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad!

Belle and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini,
The clams on your linguine,
Yes we keep the
(Belle flicks Bumblebee Man's antenna)
In Springfield!

Wiggum, Krusty, and Skinner: We remember our first visit,
Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite!
Mrs Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!
Grampa and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun
Since March of 1961!
Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted,
Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney: We just heard this place existed!

Dancing Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo,
Apu: The extra arms on Vishnu,
Dancing Girls: So don't take the
(Barney opens a Krusty-in-the-box)
Mob: We won't take the
(Sideshow Mel blows on his slide-whistle)
Everyone: Yes let's keep the
(Moe crashes two garbage can lids together)
In Springfield!



Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger,
As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par.
I'd rather drink a beer
Than win father of the year,
I'm happy with things the way they are.

Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed,
Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car.
Marge: The house is still a mess,
And I'm going bald from stress,
Bart, Marge, & Lisa: But we're happy, just the way we are.

Ned: They're not perfect,
But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour."
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
Ned: Okely-dokely-do.
Shary: Don't think it's sour grapes,
But you're all a bunch of apes,
And so I must be leaving you!



Movementarians: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Leader!
All (except Homer): Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Leader!
Leader! Leader...
Homer: Batman! ... I mean Leader!



Homer : Who can take your trash out?
Stomp it down for you?
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingy-doo?
The Garbage Man!

Trash Men : Yes the Garbage Man Can!

Homer + Trash Men : The Garbage Man can
And he does it with a smile
And never judges you.

Marge : Who can take this diaper?

Trash Man : I don't mind at all!

Chief Wiggum : Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball?
The Garbage Maaaaan!

Trash Men : Yes the Garbage Man can.

U2 : The sanitation folks
Are jolly friendly blokes.
Courteous and easy-going

The Edge : They'll mop up when you're oh-

U2 and Trash Men : -ver flowin'!

Bono : And tell you when your arse is showing'!

Apu : Who can?
Sideshow Mel : Who can?
Ned Flanders : Who can?
Oscar : Who can?

All : The Garbage Man can!

Bart and Lisa : Coz he's Homer Simpson, man!

All : He cleans the world....for....you!



Homer: Max Power, he's the man who's name you'd love to
touch! But you mustn't touch! His name sounds good in your
ear, but when you say it, you mustn't fear! 'Cause his name
can be said by anyone!



Homer (spoken): Oh, I like food alright.
Homer (singing): I like pizza; I like bagels;
I like hotdogs with mustard and beer.
Editor (spoken): I get the picture.
Homer: I'll eat eggplant. I could even eat a ba-a-by deer.
La- la- la- la- la- la- la- la la- la-
Who's that baby deer on the la-awn there?
Editor (spoken): Enough already!
Homer (spoken): Sorry.




Disco Stu: Move it in, shove it out, Disco Lady.
[...]
Disco Stu: Back away, not today, Disco Lady.



Singers: Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl!
He's a human rubber band
And she's the Hulk in pearls!
He's a limber lad
She's a powerful lass
He'll wring your neck
And she'll kick your ass!
They're Stretch Dude
And Clobber Girl!
Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl!
Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl!...



Yay!

Hey Piper!

Remember me?

I know it has been a while, but I wondered (and still wonder) how you've been!

I can't reach you on you yahoo e-mail adress anymore, so I thought I'd try it this way.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Love,
Debby (willow)