h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hehehe

Oldie

Monkey jokes!

I still like that joke.

A magic tractor went down a road and turned into a field.

It must have been driven by a baboon or something to go in this thread.

A monkey escapes from the zoo and two keepers are sent to retrieve it.
The monkey scampers into a very posh hotel with marble walls and floors and the two keepers follow it.
The younger, fitter keeper is only about two steps behind the hairy little divil when it turns a sharp corner and urinates on the floor. The keeper, unable to avoid it, slips in the wet patch careers across the floor bangs his head against the wall and a portrait falls on him and gives him a lump on top of his head.
The second keeper comes around the corner, hits the wet patch, careers across the floor bangs his head against the wall and another portrait falls on him and gives him a lump on top of his head.
The first keeper looks at him and says, "I just did that!"
The second keeper punches him in the nose and says, "You dirty dog!"

*pause*

What happened to the monkey?

Ah yes, the monkey...
He went on to star in the radio 4 programme Cross Incontinents