h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some of you may be aware of these kinds of emails, and some might not. Basically someone will email you promising large sums of money in exchange for a nominal handling fee, a plane ticket, or something like that. Anyway, this one tickled me especially. So...


"I am well confident of your capability of executing
this business for the mutual benefit of our both
families believing that you will not expose or betray
the trust and confident I am about to repose on you."

What buisness? whats going on? I wouldnt of minded a dear friend bit like they usually do.

"I am the wife of late Chief Camara Kabah , from Freetown Town Sierra Loene (S.L). My husband was the former finanancial controller of Sierra Loanain Gold and Diamond Mining Co-operation before his untimely death."
In my attempt to make this a highly comedic journal for a change, I googled my Camara and found out that he hadnt died, moved to Ghana, and became a prince. I think he might have faked his death so his wife doesnt get his fortune.

"After his trip to Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire, to negotiate on a business, a week after he came back from Abidjan, he was injured by unknown assassins of rebel leaders of FUDDY SANKOH from my country and was rushed to a hospital, where he died after five days in
hospital, on that faithful afternoon."
See this is where his wife should have clocked on. Assassins, generally speaking, are good at there job hence the name assassin and not hired goon. Then again they were sent by Fuddy Sankoh, who is so being a mob boss in my next film.

"I didn't know that my husband was going to leave me."
He's in Ghana!

"But before he gave up the ghost, it was as if he knew
he was going to die."
I told you he's not dead! Although by the sounds of it she didnt like him much anyways.

"He my husband,(may his soul rest in perfect peace) disclosed to me that he deposited $10.2 million (TEN MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITEDSTATE DOLLARS}in a security company here in Abidjan for investment purposes."


He said that he made the deposit in Abidjan, because of the crisis that later involved civil war in my country which involves looting of properties and freezed of many top officials account.

That the money was made from over-invoice contract supplied of gold and diamond on a special arrangement made between him and our
president and that after the business that (TEN MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATE DOLLARS} is
his own share from the transaction. Due according to
my late husband, he wanted to invest the fund abroad
before his untimely death,now there is need for us to
live this country,We are granted a political stay down
here and still refugee.

"My purpose of asking for your assistance boil down to the fact that I don't want my late husband's family to be aware or name involve. and the deposit statement of the box authorized the company to make this box avaliable for shipment on request only to my foreign bussiness representative, though unnamed."
Me? You made a bad choice. I'm 10 grand in debt and in the next week or so I have to think of the most effectiv... actually I've just realised that all the money in my account will be out by tomorrow, and that whatever food is dont stairs is it till I paint more models or ebay comes up trumps for me.

Due to me being behind in course work,ill just post up the rest of the letter...

Hence I want you to contact the the
security company as my bussiness partner, after
receiving the prove from me to enable the company
release the consigment to you diplomatically, while I
join you on the arrival of the box.
I have recently paid all demurrage,storage charges.
All you need to do is to help me contact the security
company and introduce yourself as my bussiness partner
to enable them do change of ownership with your name
as the beneficiary, then you request the shipment of
the box to your destination.
And as soon as Diplomatic shipping agent approved the
shipment and tell you the arrival date of the box then
I will join you to give you 10% of the money instantly
before I go on with the proposed investment in your
domain provided is secured and investment friendly.
Waiting for your urgent response through my private
email addresss

ooooOOOOOOOoooooo that one is really interesting