h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's a neat one. When the top of her head get's up to the Hummer's headlights, you can say you meant the bottom of it, i.e. her chin. After that you have to find a higher truck!

God, that's a frightening thought. There a good four feet off the ground as it is!

I've become a bad mother. I've been so busy that I completely did NOT do anything about arranging a birthday party for my daughter. We were going to do a big bash with another friend, but things went haywire, and now she's got no party this weekend. So I lied to her, and told her I was planning on having it next weekend, with a whole bunch of folks. I am hoping people will be in town...it's the beginning of the kids' spring break...

Damn, damn, damn. I just wish her father bothered to give a damn. If I'm gone, and he's here, why can't he take care of things?

Sorry, I'm having an I-hate-my-soon-to-be-ex moment...

That's ok M, don't apologise. If the party isn't going to happen this weekend, could you not take her somewhere special instead, and let her have the party next weekend?

Well, on Monday she's taking cupcakes to school and to her afterschool program, and we are going to go to a kid's movie she wants to see. And she's okay for next weekend to be her party.

Sorted.

Hi M, how's the weekend been?

Good. A bit on the sleepless side...daylight savings always messes with me, since I'm one of those people that as soon as the light hits my eyes, I'm up for the rest of the day. I have to be really, really tired to take a nap.

How's things with you, dear?

I've had a really good one actually. My daughter has stayed over at her mate's this weekend, and Wendy went to her friends for the weekend too. That meant it was just Daniel and I all weekend in the house. We played games, watched tv, hired video's, got lots of takeouts, and talked for ages. We really connected this weekend which was great, as we usually just kind of pass like those proverbial ships in the night.

Okay, which one's the wife? I'm assuming Wendy. And how old is Daniel?

Daughter's birthday was a DISASTER!!! She started out by telling me that she'd decided she didn't want the one big present that I'd gotten her, and it went downhill from there until about ten minutes before she went to bed, when we snuggled and I explained to her about how mommies have feelings too, etc. She sometimes forgets to empathize. We also had a huge row over her room, and the cleanliness (or lack thereof) issue. We decided that tomorrow is also her birthday, and we are going to try again. A "do-over" birthday.

Yes, Wendy's the wife. Daniel is 12, Rebecca is 13, there is only 13 months between them. Rebecca has my colouring and her mother's character (poor girl), Daniel has his mother's colouring and my character.

Heartbreaking when special occasions you've planned for them go pear shaped isn't it? They ALL forget to empathise, M. It's a skill they don't learn until they are much older. Even then, some never seem to learn it do they?

Great idea to 'do it over', let me know how it went second time around. Best of luck!

What do you mean by "poor girl"?! You married the woman!

Well, at least she's old enough to be willing to have a birthday not on her birthday, if you know what I mean. I just feel bad because it was such a horrid day for her, and for me, and I think Daarte is starting to get to an age where she realizes something's not quite right, but doesn't understand what.

Yes, have you explained to her about you and your ex-husband? Or do you think she is too young to understand?

Wendy is very short tempered. I mean "poor girl" because Rebecca seems to have inherited her mother's temprament, and my looks.

I'm not exactly long-fused myself!

She knows more than I think her father thinks she does. He seems to not want to talk to her about it, but she's asked my mom some questions, and I know she's getting it. It's just hard, because I'm usually so angry at him that it's really hard for me to answer questions from her. Although I must give myself a pat on the back for never demeaning him in front of her.

And you're not that bad looking, dear.

It must be the red hair. When I saw your picture, "Irish in there somewhere" , I thought!


As you say, she probably knows more than she lets on. She's probably trying to work it all out in her own mind. I think you're handling it very well in the way your're dealing with her over it. Just give her time to sort it all out. And by not not demeaning him in front of her, you're avoiding disrupting her loyalties, which would cause more confusion.

Why thank you

Nope, no Irish. Welsh and Scots on one side, German on the other. The hair, I think, is the Scots part. It's certainly regressive, since only my one aunt (out of 5) and I have it. Everyone one else is some shade of brown.

I will admit that it gets tiring being the person who always takes the high road with respect to the ex. Some days I'd really like to tell Daarte that he's a horse's rear end, but then I bite my tongue. She did ask me about his drinking, though, and my response was to ask her what she thought. She told me that she thought he drank too much. Great. I've been there, done that, not going to put her through it. I made it very clear to him that if he ever got drunk and put her in the car, I would have him thrown in jail.

Not in front of her, of course.

And I take it you and Wendy are getting along better?

The Scots blood is akin to the Irish anyway, it all Gaelic ethnically, as is Welsh. (No Roman influence, as opposed to the English).

Is Daarte's drinking one of the reasons you broke up? It sounds like he might have a serious problem there.

Wendy and I pretty much get on ok with each other, we've kind of developed into friends, and that's it. We shouldn't really have got married in the first place.

Goodness, I would hope Daarte isn't drinking! She's only 8!!!

And yes, the ex does have a serious drinking problem. I fell into that old trap of marrying one's parent. The subconcious desire to fix someone you can't manifested in marrying someone just like them. So much for not letting my father's drinking affect my life, eh? Ah well.

Gotta run and take the last load out of the dryer, and then get the pinata and stuff for Saturday...

Sorry M! From your previous posting I thought Daarte was your ex-husband, my mistake. Yes I see it now.

What's in place for this weekend?

Goodness, threw me for a loop there!

Ah, let's see...an Easter Egg hunt Saturday morning, then the farmer's market, then Daarte's birthday party. Oh, and between the farmer's market and the party, I have to pick up her father from the airport. Saturday night, we will be dying eggs.

Sunday, it's more egg hunting, a basket, and a big homemade breakfast. Then it's dinner at my friend Ev's house, I think, and then bed!

Sounds great fun, Daarte will love it. Incidentally, where does your daughter's name come from, I haven't heard it before?