h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dear friends, as some of you must know as you were so good as to congratualte me effusively, I am gainfully emplyed again for the first time time in *quickly counts on fingers* a year and a half (that long? Blimey). And the thing is, I think I may have forgotten how to do 'work'. Oh, not working as in productive stuff. I can sit and write and make myself endless cups of coffee like the best of them. However, my usual 'working on novel' outfit consists of knickers, teeshirt and flip-flops, with the additions of track-suit bottoms, ghastly pilled fleece and possibly woolly socks in colder weather (I do of course get properly dressed to go to the supermarket. I am not as yet thoroughly indoctrinated into the role of local eccentric). And when I want to stop work, I stop. And have lunch at anywhere between 11 am and 3 pm. And have a mid-afternoon bath. And read novels for an hour or so. And sit on the carpet to cut my toenails. And start drawing lace charts. And spread out all my knitting and dither over what project I want to do. And play 'Sims' while making socks. And listen to Handel rather loudly when feeling uninspired. And worst of all, sing along. How will I remember NOT to do the above in an office? How will I remember to stay dressed? How badly am I going to humiliate myself on Monday?

Having gone through this adjustment recently after 14 years of being a SAHM, you have my complete sympathy.

Just make sure you leave the nail clippers at home.

You'll do fine.

However, as a library director, I would suggest you not sit in the floor in the library and cut your toenails. Especially not if there is a risk of one flying and putting someone's eye out. Liability issues, don't you know.

You are not going to humiliate yourself on Monday! You'll be just fine - it will feel weird not to sit at the desk in just your knickers and a jumper but surviving the journey to work will require you to put on more than that in the first place so it shouldn't be a problem to resist stripping in a public (*checks...yes - the 'l' is in place*) place. Do you manage to avoid clipping your toenails in Sainsburys? If so you will be amamzed by your ability not to do it at work either

It will be marvellous and you will be amazed at the speed the days fly past all of a sudden (at least for a while).

, not that you need it

- you have the weekend to practice:

http://www.mcphee.com/laf/

"The role of a librarian is to make sense of the world of information. If that's not a qualification for superhero-dom, what is?" Nancy Pearl

I just LOVE that action figure. Complete with 'shushing' action

Thanks for the link, sunny!

We considered getting one of those figures for the Library of Doom - the threat of being shushed by an action figure that looks somewhat like Harry Potter in drag ought to subdue any ulruly students.

Best work thing to practice - walking purposefully with something in your hand. If you look like you know where you're going and why you're going there, you must be working!

Well, what a bunch of sweet friendly people! That went very well. I merely forgot my P45, any photo ID, and my lunch. Oh, and that wearing ankle-length skirts while shelving is dumb. I did stay fully clad at all times, but there was a 'nearly' moment when I stepped on the hem of my skirt as I gracefully clambered onto a kick-stool and very nearly ripped it off me as I straightened up. Fun fun fun. So that was why I always wore trousers at the last library job...

Sparkle rather knocked off day by S having unwelcome work news about a side-ways promotion he was longing for (still has old job. But would have loved new job so much more... Old job veering in unwanted not-on-original-plan directions, wearing him out and fraying his nerves and he and his line-manager have rather a personality clash thing going on. How can anyone have a personality clash with S? He's one of the sweetest, most hard-working and considerate men ever made). He's been sending CVs out all evening from his own personal thundercloud, and is now cooking dinner. I love the man. How sensible and strong-minded is that? If I had had such bad news I would've been cemented to the sofa cuddling the sherry-bottle and bellowing incoherently in between demands for food and sympathy. He's merely sighing a lot and making salad.

Glad the first day went well. Not glad about S.

I never wear skirts to work in the library either...

Congratulations Ag, and commiserations to S, sounds like he's dealing with it very constructively though.

for both of you. Glad that you're enjoying it.

Thank you, N and BadVid. If I could remember my password I too would be madly struggling to find an anagram of Agapanthus - is there one? I could shorten it and be 'Ga'. Because life is a bit ga. Really. Did too much training today. Ejournals hurt my head, as do office politics and nutso shelving systems. No room for names now, so have taken to referring to new colleagues by job and shirt colour, you know, paisley admin, kinda thing.

But...what if they wear a different colour of shirt tomorrow? Or do they just wear the same shirt every day?

Welcome back to the work force

Shame for S..what a man, goodluck for applications

Look forward to hearing about daft questions from the punters...and unusual requests n' stuff!

I'm covered in glue! I've spent part of the day actually working (rather than endless induction training thingies) and have mended two and a half books. Glue. Rubber bands. Scalpels. Rulers. Paintbrushes. Horrible bottles of horrible solvent for removing sellotape (DO NOT USE SELLOTAPE. Vile, brittle, staining, page-destroying stuff. Use book-tape. I beg of you). It was highly satisfying. I think I might enjoy this part of the job very much.

Alas I haven't been allowed loose on the punters yet, so no daft questions as yet...

What, no:

'Have you got any photographs of the Great Fire of London?'

or

'How long can you borrow a 7-day loan for?'

or

'My book's due back tomorrow, but I'm going on holiday. Will I get a fine if I bring it back today?'

I'm sure you'll get some good ones soon.

We had a lady today who accussed us of stealing her driver's license. She claims she left in a book she returned but and now it's gone and we should have to pay to replace it since we took it. No mention of how stupid she was for using her DL for a bookmark! Sheesh.

Working is a great cause of junk food. That's about as profound as I can get this evening.

Book-mark I found in a damaged book I was mending - part of the wrapper from a bag of supermarket ready-washed mediterranean salad leaves. Ho hum.

Too bad you didn't have David's bacon book mark to go with it.