h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well I just thought that I would update whats going on.

The skin graft is doing well...not nearly so gunky and evil now, however there's one bit which is like a ravine in my leg. VERY disconcerting, however Im going to see Mr Plastics on Wednesday and Im sure he'll say if it's awful.

My wrist is completely fine and I ended up taking the cast off myself with a pair of scissors and my teeth whilst watching Erin Brockavich...which is just as well really as its perfectly fine and the orthopeadics guy didnt even know there was anything wrong with it in the first place!

On wednesday Im also supposed to be going to see the psychologist. I like her, shes called Lisa. The only problem is...I REALLY dont want to go. I dont know why. I think part of its just because I cant be bothered. I cant be bothered to get better, cant be bothered to pretend to other people that Im doing something that will help. I dont see how psychs are going to help me get better...in fact what is there TO get better? Ive always been like this...maybe im just meant to be like this...meant to be a bit of a failure who'll probably be dead at 25. I dont know! Whatever...

okay i guess you can tell Im not in the best of moods either I just feel crappy and its made worse by the fact that i KNOW that everyone feels bad sometimes and I just moan and make more of a fuss. In fact LOADS of people have it SO much worse than me and they arent sitting around fussing! People keep telling me that they have kept going when they feel bad because eg a baby depends on them... I SERIOUSLY think my baby would have died a long time ago.
I just feel bad for not getting on with it and not complaining. Its not as if I dont have enough food, or shelter or bombs going off or something. I just feel a bit crappy. In fact its all perfectly normal! Maybe this is just my level! Oh stuff it

Heya, sounds likes your a little stuck in a moment, as U2 would put it (yep, advice from songs a bad idea, I know). Don't let the inertia get to you. Do stuff, doing stuff is good.

U2 the band, not the researcher .

such as? why bother? Its not as if ill be any good or itll stop me being bored or anything. Sorry yes I am aware that Im being irrational. That doesnt make it easy to stop unfortunately.

Oh and just to add to it Ive been reminded yet AGAIN that Dads scared of me and mental health. Stupid man. How on earth am I supposed to respect him, tell him anything, or in fact spend any time with him!?

Hi Hon! I know you don't feel like it but DO go the psychologists, OK? Maybe she can help with the changing psych?

Hi Kat

Have some ?

*rather deliberately squodges Joe's *

Sorry that was mean of me.

Why MUST I go to the psychologist? Its such a terrible bore that just upsets me because I feel useless about it! Plus she cant really help with changing the psych and Ive got to go and see the GP next week to find out if the consultant has deigned to reply.
Sorry Im not meaning to be so horrible but I feel so ghastly and I cant make anybody understand

I understand...

Well, I understand why you feel the way you feel. I can't begin to undersand the way you actually feel, but I can understand why. Sorry, I can't be much help either but I can be a listening ear if you want

I went to the psychologist. And apparently I let her in for exactly 4 seconds. Great! 50mins and 4 seconds of actual something!
However I have also got new glasses which are nice and purple.
I also got a phonecall addressing me as a "haggy slaggy lesbian whore". I do love to recieve compliments.

are we better off not asking why you had a phone call to you under that name?

*whistles at Kat's purple glasses*

2 minutes is better than none, innit? Weird phone call though. Dunno what to make of that.

i dont know why i got the call. I havent done anything! It wasnt as funny as the call i once got which was two girls making a very very poor attempt to sound like they were having sex together. They left it on my voicemail and all i could think of was the fact theyd paid to do that and all I had to do was listen to it for free...it really wass quite bizarre.

Sick and tired of all of this. Fed up. Dead. Plahh!
The purple glasses DO look rather nice though I suppose

Purple is a great colour

Hi Kat I was looking for your article you mentioned if you still want others to read it
I was going to post a link for AR1 since her computer is not very fast.

Hope you have a good thing or two happen this week and that your injuries are healing well.

Try to hang in there, you may have an illness that helps to keep you stuck or feeling stuck. It is likely that with the proper help you will gradually find yourself in a different headspace. I am sure you just want to forget it or hurry up with it. I always want everything fixed yesterday or today!

Hi Kat I was looking for your article you mentioned if you still want others to read it
I was going to post a link for AR1 since her computer is not very fast.

Hope you have a good thing or two happen this week and that your injuries are healing well.

Try to hang in there, you may have an illness that helps to keep you stuck or feeling stuck. It is likely that with the proper help you will gradually find yourself in a different headspace.

It is hard to wait and to go to non-appointments as I call them. Appointments that are part of the process but do not directly do much for your suffering at the time. I always want everything fixed yesterday or today!