h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Potential and Reality


A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."

Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with a couple of whores."

nice one!!

s
That was so funny mark lol kno any more

Would, but how do I put an entry up that you can all read? I put this one in my journal, how do I put something up that you can all read??? Without making my page too big for tw users...??

Recently, a group of male computer scientists announced that computers, like ships, should be referred to as female This is why:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate to other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.



However another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as male.

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realise that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

That is oh sooo true, on both counts!

Hiya Jarve,

thought you'd lost the address to h2g2 lol i unsubscribed to your journal, its gone 'girly'
nice to see you back!

liked your 1st joke though ive heard it before, but the computer 1, thats a tough 1, i was reading the 'are they female' and pmsl convinced that was about right but 'are they male'? hmm so many points to consider lol point 2, yep the majority of the time they are the problem! lol

Venus- Yup, I reckon my computer is a female, it's great to play with and keeps me occupied. THough sometimes it does my head in



Insomz vamp- Yeh I know, I dont mind though, better people on saying hi than tumbleweeds floating down the page!! As for the computer thing, read my reply to venus, you agree?! :p Puterz... Gotta be feminine!!




WTF?! Am listening to a funky house cd I had stashed away, the tune is going 'gorrilla girl' what the heck is that all about? sheesh!

Ok folks, am off onto CTW to post some rubbish.


LAters all!!!

well Jarve, when i access the pc its usually at a friends house, nice to play with when it suits me, sometimes makes me but more often frustrates and annoys me, sometimes crashes without warning! and for all the intelligence it claims to have still cant always satisfy me - erm nah im inclined to say its male lmao

now your back i might re subscribe, you need someone to pester you

I'm best pestered via e-mail, I always check em, h2g2 can sometimes be a bit dodgy...


Wel, I sorta 4get for a few days :p


doh...


Sez me, mr puter-head.

Hey Jarve,

im an expert on pestering people, ill be the judge of wheres best
you sort of forget? well dont 'sort of' forget my mail or ill sort of pester you more lol