h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I really, really don't want a lap dance from Carrot, if its all the same to you.

Oh come on, now you've hurt his feelings. And I'm sure it can be a strictly platonic lap dance, for those married types out there.

I'm more insulted by the fact that somebody's trying to sell me to get a lapdance.

I don't care how platonic it is, its just not on. No offense or anything. Its just not cricket.

Mr Carrot IS something we all treasure dearly.

I don't think you'd like any of my possible answers to the second question.

Aww, Darakat...

Oh-ho! Now we see the light! Bouncy is offering Carrot on the slave block so HE can get a Carrot-sponsored lap dance.

Oh, do answer the second question. You are now obligated as prize planner wannabe of the Stacy's Closet Competition...

*standsbacktowatchBouncyenmirehimselfdeeper*

It doesn't really matter what my reply is anyway.

Nope.

But whatever it is I'm sure we'll find some way to hold it against you.

There could be a massage, yes, a massage. A lap dance or a massage for those who prefer that. And you get Mr Carrot to keep for your very own.

Can I use him as a slave for manual labour and plucking ducks?

Stacy's slave, not yours .

Well, I hurt people when I give massages unless they enjoy a little pain.

I'm trying to think of tasks that I could use him for...maybe cleaning out the fridges? I don't think that would be worth a lapdance as I only clean them out once every three months.

'Mr Carrot IS something we all treasure dearly.'

Are you SURE about that, bouncy?

Yes, just not as dearly as a lap-dance.

And if I said I loathed Carrot with the burning passion of eighteen hells? And that I'd remove something from your lap that you even more dearly love if you sent him to me?

You do know there is only 9 Hells?

That's why Mr Carrot is extra special. he makes those extra 9 hells for Stacy to loathe him that much more.

Then I'd know you're lying and you wub Mister Carrot weally.

I doubt that strongly.