h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After taking a nap and having extremely strange dreams, I pretty sure my mother is spiking my food. Imagine five to seven lobsters singing ‘The Langosta Family’…you know, instead of ‘The Addams Family.’ *snapsnap * Now imagine, after the theme song, all of the invertebrates sitting down and discussing the Brønsted-Lowry theory of acids and bases with the head lobster, Arrhenius. Maybe this is why I never study?

I refused to take Sherman on a walk today because I wanted to do some close-lead work with him, and he was pissed. We were doing lovely little patterns out in the dog yard when he decided he’d had enough. In the middle of one of our heel patterns, he sat down and refused to heel when I moved off. I stopped and tried to call him to me, but he just looked over his shoulder and paid me no heed. I got rather irritated at this when he even refused to release the sit and play, so I called his name in the evil voice and gave him ‘the look’. I don’t yell at him because he’s as stubborn as I am but he usually minds when I get extremely quiet and use the evil voice. Instead, he looked me directly in the eyes and stared at me. The following ‘conversation’ ensued:

Sherman: Yes, mother dearest?
Stacy: What do you think you are doing?
Sherman: Sitting, enjoying the day that I’ve been missing.
Stacy: You can sit and enjoy later. We’re working right now.
Sherman: No, you’re working. I want to sit.
Stacy: You have had plenty of time to sit all day.
Sherman: Oh, that’s right, we didn’t walk today.
Stacy: We will walk tomorrow.
Sherman: That’s what you said yesterday.
Stacy: We walked yesterday.
Sherman: But you said we would walk today.
Stacy: You assumed that, Boobah.
Sherman: Don’t try and soften me up by using baby names; I want to walk.
Stacy: Well, you work and we’ll walk.
Sherman: But the work is walking.
Stacy: Then you should be tickled to death to do it, shouldn’t you?
Sherman: Damn.

He worked for thirty more minutes and I let him in my bedroom to sleep. I think the construction workers who are working on my grandmother’s house next door think I’m crazy. I’m up early every morning watering these plants that they call ‘rubber-tree plants’ but are really orchids. I go out running when it’s 35°C and the sun is up. I walk around the porches chanting acid-base theories, assigning oxidation numbers to inanimate objects, reciting pressure conversion factors, reasoning colligative properties and how they work, and balancing chemical equations out loud. Maybe I am crazy.

All I have to say about this is that 1. Yes you are crazy and 2. Ada has her intermediate test this weekend.

I can say that since I don't go to puppy classes yet (I will when we can do flyball, but we can't till ada is Older) that Ada does have similar problems, although they mostly lie around kangaroos and when to not chase them. Oh and walking in the rain and not barking at the cars that splash her (all of them).

You get kangaroos where you live? In a development? Why can't she bark at cars that splash her? I'd bark at them.

Just as a note: Chemistry final today. Things are looking...happily like a C.

There are not many places you can go without kangaroos, even in the middle of Sydney you can get them. But in canberra they are all over the place, we are called the "bush capital" for a reason.

Ah, my dear Estacio. I think you are fabulously creative and bizarre. I would like to make a movie about you some day. As for the chem final, don't worry about it. You probably did better on it than you think. I adore my tribute to AP history, and have placed it under a heavy object for flattening. Then, upon retrieval of some plasty-tak, i shall hang it on my door to gaze at in memory of the hours spent and the worthlessness of all that was Andersonian.

Your conversation with Sherman was simply hilarious. I had one with Chloe today that went something like this.

Chloe: Rrrrruff. ::tries to jump on bed::
Dot: Mrmph. ::rolls over, asleep::
Chloe: Hell-loooo! Lemmee up!
Dot: Mrmph. You can do it, dork. Shorty.
Chloe: Eh? ::gets assistance from mom and hops on bed::
Dot: ::snore::
Chloe: Wanna play? Wanna play? I wanna play. ::rolls in covers::

Thus ends the tale of how Chloe ended my nap.

(yay)

Oh, man, Kangaroo goes city. I can just see them stop at the crosswalks and wait for traffic to pass...fascinating. How big are they? I've seen them in zoos before, but I've never seen a 'real' one.

Dot, it is my secret hope that someone has been following me around for the past sixteen (almost seventeen) years with a camera to record everything I've done. No one will believe the stupid stuff I've done otherwise...all history will be left with is my journals... I slaughtered the chem final and in a bad way. I think I could make a forty-two on it and still come out passing? And today's lesson will be over the Andersonian time period. It was a dark and tedious session once every day following the midday meal we call 'lunch' or 'dinner' that required the difficult skill of light sleeping and camouflage. I mean, the camouflage to hide behind HUGE black guys that are snoring in front of you... Awww, Chloe...fuzzy little thing. It pains me to admit it, but she's cute for a toy dog and for a bichon...

Er they haven't evoled the human trait of crossing roads properly yet but its only a matter of time, since a substantial amount of them are hit on the roads trying to cross them. The ones round here a pretty small, only about a meter to a meter and a half tall, and about 2 meters long snout to tail. The big males get to about 3 by 5 meters sometimes but thats about as big as they get. The big reds that live out in the bush get to about 4 by 8 for the big males, there massive things that live on hundred of kilometers of hot red scrubland

I want a pet kangaroo....

3 meters tall??? Oh, that's almost twice as tall as I am... 4 meters tall??? That's almost triple... Wow. Are they skittish or do they dig through trashcans? How do they interact with people?

there as skittish as can be, they are herbivores after all, you need a special permit t keep them as pets and even then they have to be incapable of being re-introduced back to the wild.

Fascinating. So they run away when they see you? Do you know of anyone who has or had one as a pet?

generally they run for about 20 meters stop, look at where you going and if you head there way they run again, repeat till end.
I had a conversation with ada today that whent like this
ME: Ada stay in my room please
ADA: But its warm upstairs, I like warm
ME: But I need to know where you are, last time I let you upstairs you took a sock detour to the laundry
ADA: but I like socks!
ME: No socks for puppies. Sorry, you chew right through them, cute though it may be.
ADA: But dad, I like socks.
ME: Look I can't let you eat socks sorry, I just can't.
ADA: What if I go upstairs without a sock detour?
ME: You think I am going to fall for that one again?
ADA: But I am sitting buy the door so nicely.
ME: How about you go outside and have a sniff?
ADA: Ok!

How come everyone has such agreeable pets? I'd complain but I like my moody little boy.

Ada has only been so agreeable for the last 3 weeks, due to well, I don't know, she just has.

Sherman has been relatively obedient today. It's amazing what ignoring him for eight hours can do to his delicate little psyche.

Tara is rather obedient all the time, actually.I would've liked her to be a bit more stubborn, but she isn't.

Collies aren't exactly known for their impudence.

True, trie, but this one's exceptional.

As they all are.

I suppose so...