h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been trying to distract them. I'll probably be here til around 8, that's when her shift finishes. You got plans for this evening?

I meant enjoying freedom in RL, not freedom from me. I'm just starting to go through the backlogs, could take a while.

Yay! So plenty of time then. Does your friend have a hootoo account then?

Not really, just been doing the same old. I was gonna re-decorate your page but thought I'd let you off.

Yup, I've plenty of annoying to do too. Nah, she's not interested in this sort of thing.

You should take a wee trip up north for a pint. Hmmm, what were you planning to do? Have you been in me again?

Who do YOU annoy? So you haven't told her about the site then?

It'd be nice, alas I'm skint. Nothing too drastic, just a few appraisals. Again? Now who's using the innuendo?

I annoy my bestest, bestest friend in the whole world-wide-web. And the . I told her she could get BBC sites and the like, she'd be more likely to enjoy the Eastenders stuff.

Hitch your way to Glasgow and I'll put you up for the night. Hey, it was your innuendo, I was paraphrasing. Hmmm, so you weren't going to advertise cyber so I'd come back to a page full of funboy postings?

Who's that then, I thought it was the ? Hadn't you better go and say hello or something? So no mention of hootoo then? Have you become a regular visitor now?

All night? And I suppose that was just "paraphrasing" too.

I hadn't thought of that. I was gonna pay HOT-ROD a visit though.

You, who else would it be? I will in a wee while, have you seen the journal entry? I did say there were forums, I was very vague though. Surely there's some of your friends who you wouldn't really want turning up? I can't visit much, she spends a lot of time with her boyfriend.

I could make it a long weekend. Nope, that was paragliding.

Err, he sounds nice...is he a classic car fan?

Awwwww, should I be flattered or just very scared? No, I'll look in a mo, which one? G said she's fed up of all the journal entries clogging her conversations up. After having my brother onsite, do you really think anyone else could be worse? You'll have to get them to fall out then.

Ooh, that sounds intriguing. What did you have in mind?

I think so, his mate essexstud is probably a horse fan. He could help with the cyber duck though.

Flattered, I hope. I just have an inexplicable liking for you. Hehe, is that why she unsubbed back to January? Not worse necessarily, but a lot of my friends would be very uncomfortable with the fact that I even talk to folk online - they think anyone who does is a 60 year-old pervert. I could never be so evil...would you send a text for me?

I was thinking of rigging you to the headboard and teasing you with a cheese toastie. You got better ideas?

I spent a good few minutes trying to think who had a cyber-duck there, closest I got was Saracen with QUACK. Are you suggesting I have cyber?

Oh, the journal entry is 'Missing...'

Err, I think I'd better be then. What's inexplicable about it? Could be, I dunno why though, she has done it before. Are they really so naive? Maybe you should educate them then, or let us do it. What have you got planned?

Couldn't you do that with the dog? I have some ideas.

Now would I?

Yep, I found it, so are you gonna spook 'em?

Damn tootin'. Any sane person would get sick off the p!ss-taking and storm off. Do you think she was thinking about 'leaving'? If I let them in here they'd just change it to middle-aged geeks, present company excluded. I'm a geek in disguise, they don't mind me. Incriminating texts?

Nah, I'd get bored and she'd bite me. Do I get a chance to give them my seal of approval?

You'd have to give me lessons, stud.

Yeah, I'll pop in soon...looks like she might actually be psychic eh?

Any person who couldn't take a joke, would be best off out of it. She could've been, probably cos we haven't been around indulging her. They'd think funboy was a geek? Does she live nearby?

It would serve you right, I'd do the same. Where would the fun be in that?

What do you need lessons for? Just jump right in.

Yeah she sure is. You didn't text did you?

It would be nice to balance it out with fawning, flattery and the like. It looks like she's not been posting much, have you been emailing her? No, they'd think funboy was a sad pervert. She lives a street away from me, you gonna pay her a visit?

Get bored or bite me? The biting I wouldn't mind. Well, if the ideas are good enough I might scrape up cash for a flight up here.

I wouldn't know what to do. You must have some words of wisdom with all your experience.

Nope, I didn't. Oh, and I'm nearly out of credit.

It would be nice, but we don't always get what we want. I've emailed a couple of times, not since the clear out though. They'd be right about that one. Does she use yoome2? Nah, just wondered how far away from your bed you'd had to drag yourself.

Ooh! Kinky! If I tell you then you'd get bored. You need your pennies for the AT meet.

Well I don't like to brag...

Don't worry about it, so am I.

Unless we plead for it. Your other you doesn't seem to have been very active, having a holiday? Nah, she just watches her TV, not interested in being online at all. Don't some of your friends see the net as a bit pointless? I could have gone in my quilt and slippers.

Hmmm, fancy going to a game? That's looking less and less likely for me, unless I find work. You given it any thought on a day basis?

Slapper!

Already? Awww, you been calling up chatlines because I'm not here?

That doesn't always work. I haven't been very active, so that's why. Yep, most don't understand it or get the need for education. Now that would have been a site.

A game of what?*sticks leg out* Did you say it was next week? So even if you got a job it would be unlikely you'd have money. I've not given it any thought at all, cos I'm not going.

Ooh a bit of the green eyed monster?

Yep, I don't use it that much anymore, so I don't keep topping it up. If I wanted to hear chatlines I'd ring you.

It seemed to work that time. Oh, that makes sense. I suppose school is bad enough for a lot of people, you don't get anything material out of online education or ust general snooping. Yup, a big terracotta bundle with dogs for feet.

Football. Chess just doesn't excite me. Nah, it's the end of September, enough time to get a wage or a loan. Alright. I didn't mean going to the meet, just going for a drink where the meet is.

Of course, I want to have loose morals too.

I would use mine if it wasn't such a pain to text with it, I really miss the Nokia. So when are you phoning me?

Oh, I'm off for a while.

Occasionally it does have the desired effect. I thought it might. Yep, that's the way most people seem to think. And nekkid!

Damn, I'm a damn mean chess player too. Ah right, I thought it was this month for some strange reason. If I was going to go for a drink where the meet is then I might as well go to the meet too. But I'm not.

You say that as if its a bad thing.

I noticed, have you found the <>'s yet? When you get educated.

Laters dude.