h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

First half, see here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F19585?thread=124799&post=5085251#p5085251 2nd half, see below

Ah, ok where was I......? I did type a load on this second half but then once again she came over and I quickly closed this window. Revealing that I was reading her journal. So I closed that. So we kind of had a 2 minute discussion about her probs and I vaguely hinted at mine. There's someone she really hates and I was asking her what th deal was. And I said something like "I don't know whether I've really ever hated anyone. There's people who I think I hate but then I'm not so sure...." and then it degenerated into me rambling about how much I've had on my mind the last couple of days. But we seem to get on so well when we're talking.

I really feel like telling her how I feel and a week and a half ago I should have. But now it wouldn't do any good. She's with him ahnd she loves him more than she ever loved me.

Of course, it has crossed my mind that the contenst of her Live Journal and her going out with this other guy are and attempt to get me to tell her how I feell. But somehow I doubt that. Thing is for a while I was semi-hoping she'd find all this stuff I'm wrting on here. And maybe (we do think disturbingly alike sometimes) she's doing the same. But I doubt that she'd go so far as to go out with another guy to make me jealous.

But her LJ is making me think. Just a couple of extracts:
"Anyway, I've said before that the only people who know about this journal are people I talk to online, and Ellie and Ollie. I can't remember why I told them, I was probably just having a lot of faith in the human race that day or something equally stupid......the trouble is I trust people too easily, and then they always let me down. It's almost got to the stage now where I associate letting someone in with them stabbing me in the back."

She let me in! Is she saying I stabbed her in the back? (My name IRL is acutally Ollie by the way, not sure whether I've ever mentioned it.)

Anyway, I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just need advice. I'm not saying I do think she wants me back by the way, the thought crossed my mind but was dismissed as being ridiculously illogical. Though my brain isn't really working on logic anyway. You know that bit about me semi-hoping she'll find this? Well, she knows I was wrting something on here that I didn't want her to see so she may well be on here tonight and have a look at it. In which case: "Hi! We should talk on Monday. Or ring me". I'm not sure whether I want her to see this but I'm not sure of what I think about the whole thing now. Ah well, only tine will tell.......

One of the most important lessons I ever learned was to face your problems as soon as possible. Burrying them or trying to hide from them just makes the problem worse and makes you miserable at the least. At least if you tell her what you feel you know where you stand and can get on.

I know how she feels about trusting people too readily, though I'm fortunate now to have a lot of good friends who I know won't 'stab me in the back'. If she trusts people then trust her, tell her what you feel, don't just assume she'll find out.

I'd let it out, clear your head, maybe then you can sort yourself out.

Yeah, I did actually ask whether she wanted to go to the cinema with me weekend before last. And she daid she couldn't make it. But then rang me the the next day and asked whether I still wanted to go becuase she'd managed to get all of the work done. So that was the time I was going to tell her how I felt but it just didn't feel right. So I didn't. The whole purpose of the excursion was to get a chance to talk to her about it. And I had the fact that she'd actually rang me and asked whether I still wanted to go which if she didn't wan't to go she needn't have done. I kind of wish I had spoken to her about me and her now, but everyone said,"If you're thinking about talking about getting back together with her then you should leave it a little longer until you feel the time is right." So I kept putting it off. And now the only purpose telling her would serve is to destroy our friendship. Becuase maybe before we could have sprted things out but now there's no chance so it would be better if I just left it. I shouldn't have buried it, but I kept trying to tell her how I felt and I couldn't.

Don't regret, it's one of the nastiest and most pointless emotions. Take where you are now and work from that. She could still be a good friend but not saying what you want to say will only make you think about what might have been.

Well, she read all that stuff I wrote on here. Kind of embarassing now I look back and see what I said. But I talked it over with her and it's cool now

Well, that's something then.

On no.... I can't believe I ever wrote that stuff. To even think that I could feel that bad about her...

We're really good friends now see, I can't believe I ever had such horrible feeliings towards her.

don't worry about it mate.

Yeah, I know.......just that over the last few days we've been saying how we should never fall out and could never hate each other. So it's kind of shocking to me that I ever felt so negatively towards her.

yeah, but it is better that you put it somewhere at the time and not let it dwell on your mind ... even if its not nice to look at now.

Yeah I know....it's ok. Just odd.