h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For some reason my sister seems to be incapable of taking a bath without getting water all over the floor. I am not quite sure how she does it. I have never once heard the sounds of the amount of hippopotamus-wallowing that it would take to move that volume of water that far onto the floor emanating from the bathroom. I can only suppose then, that she bathes like people in fictional tv programmes and not like a normal person at all. For further evidence I have the fact that she always emerges from the bathroom swathed in fluffy towels; not a tatty bathrobe like the rest of us. I assume then that she gets out of the bath, then drains the water, then dries herself once she has dripped most of the water onto the floor. Whereas normal people drain the water, dry themselves as far as possible whilst standing in the bath (so that all the water drains away), then get out, leaving only two damp footprints on the floor. The reasons I am making a fuss are manifold. 1) the reason that nowadays is trotted out about anything - it's a health and safety hazard. 2) it's damn annoying if you go into the bathroom all dressed just to get a tissue or something and your socks and/or the bottoms of your jeans (both highly absorbent materials) get soaking wet because then you have to go through the palaver of taking them off, drying your feet, finding a radiator to put the socks over and then finding some socks that are dry now. 3) Finally, our floor is covered with cork tiles. I have a sneaking suspicion that they either absorb the water, or that it drains down between them. This means that some form of new life is evolving under our bathroom floor and will one day erupt, probably, knowing my luck, whilst I am in the bath. So, if I am never seen or heard of again, you'll know why.