h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Every time I try and reach out for help, I manage to screw things up worse.

Once again,I tried to get someone to realize his concerns and needs and once again I blew it.

Why do I even bother to try?

Really have no clue as to what's going on, but wanted to stop by and offer a and a .

And to remind you (for I know you've heard this many times before) that you're not responsible for what someone else does, or fails to do, or how they react, or how they feel.

You try because you're the kind of person who likes to reach out and help others, both near and far. But how our attempts to help are constructed -- what we do, what we say -- have amazingly little impact on the end result, in my experience. The big, huge, deciding factor is whether the person you're trying to help is ready to *be* helped, is ready to hear what you have to say. And that's something you have absolutely zero control over. You can never take the first step for someone else -- you can show them the way (or really, it's your way you're showing them, for it's not like there ever is just "the" way, but that's another issue), you can lend support, you can be there to catch them if they fall -- but you can't take the step for them.

And never think that just because the results of our efforts can seem disastrous on the surface at times that you're not having a positive impact -- the last time I was able to make a big, positive, tremendous step forward in my life, I remember thinking of all the people and the things they had done that had had the invisible impacts, built me up inside in ways no one else could see, but I never would have been able to take that step without all they had given me.


Mikey

You "bother to try" because you love him, and he loves you.

Love is an amazing thing, and sometimes makes you do things you would normally never think of doing.

You did the right thing, and if they cannot see to do the same, then to hell with them. You are doing all you can..and that is all any of us can do.

I don't know what happened, but one thing I do know is that nearly everything you do, you do out of love. Often at your own expense. As long as you love, though, you will always bother to try.

If you'd like to talk, give me a call, or I'll call you. And soon.