h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Too lazy to repost...these are part of the emails we sent out to family and friends (plus a few things we forgot)....

Just a quick note to let you know we are back

Eleven days of no computer, no phone, no radio. WONDERFUL!!!!!

I am relaxed and back to my old self (my better old self…the one you guys haven’t seen).

We spent one night in Iowa, five nights in Kansas, one night in Arkansas and three nights in Missouri … so much for our trip to Missouri

We did the Ren Faire for three days (two very wet and one Faire Day), visited friends for one day and went through all the old neighborhoods for one day. Then we headed out to points unknown. Spent one night camping at a state park in Stockton. The sky was so clear I could see the Milky Way!!!!!! Living so close to Chicago, I didn’t ‘realize’ you ‘could’ see the Milky Way from earth (so much for my A in junior high astronomy). We went to Fantastic Cave in Springfield, Mo. It is one of three drive-though caves in the world. Then we headed down to Branson, MO. It is really too commercialized to enjoy so we continued on to Arkansas. We headed down scenic Route 7…mountains, mountains EVERYWHERE!!!! Then we saw the Arkansas Mini Grand Canyon….fantastic….I climbed the lookout tower…Barton did the gift shop. We camped at one of the national forests (I had never been to a national forest)…he slept in…I went hiking along the river. We went through Mystic Cave and Cathedral Dome Caves. We then headed to Rollo to see Stonehenge (bet you thought that was in England). The university build a 50% replica of Stonehenge….it was wonderful….can’t wait to go back during an equinox. The university was having an open house and we went in to play. They froze marshmallow in liquid nitrogen…they are crunchy that way…set off a few mine explosions….and other cool demos. That night I felt like the marshmallow…it got into the 30’s…a good night for cuddling. The next day we went to Meramec Caverns…I knew it would be commercial, but wow. They were setting up for a gospel concert that night (in the cave). I forget just how big it is…17+ miles. It had been one of Jesse James’ hideouts so they play up that theme for the first part of the tour…then it gets pretty. I know we did much more than this (at least one antique mall and an outlet store). Right now my brain is still in relaxation mode.

Over the past eleven days, I don’t know how many times I said OH WOW. I know I have over-used my smile muscle…and a wonderful thing that is. 1890 miles and 1473 emails to download (and that’s just my main home account). More later!!

And Barton's response

Sure, she beats me to it. BUT ...

She didn't mention the leaks in the air mattress, her almost petulant demands as to how soon we would see mountains (Boy! Did I love her "Oh wow's!), or the one night we drove in very large circles trying to find a park to camp in and how we ended up sleeping in a rest area after using about a half tank of gas.) I was particularly fond of hearing her say "I hate cities!" as she looked up at the clear night sky. (I didn't mind that sky myself.)

She didn't mention how much fun she had driving up and down twisty, steep mountain roads and seeing run-away truck ramps.

She didn't mention that, despite being gorgeous, the caves wore us out climbing into an out of them (even on well maintained paths)

She didn't mention that my 'frivolous' purchase of an LED, key chain flood light proved it's usefulness in helping me from bashing my head on the low ceilings of some of the passages. (She was probably too busy watching out for me herself.)

And she didn't mention how she speculated if she could call into work to extend our trip a day or two.

She didn't mention that out of all that driving, I only drove about 50 miles, which is why it went so well.

She didn't mention our petty argument/discussions where I maintained that the red leaves on the bushes didn't count, they had to be on trees.

She didn't mention that she lost count of the deer we saw (though I think the rabbit count was only two.)

She didn't mention the horse and the sheep that were grazing together and wouldn't stay still long enough to be photographed together.

She didn't mention the 'old Indian village' we stopped at that was nothing but a field on a hill with numbered stakes designed to correspond to the self-conducting tour that wasn't there, leaving us with a pleasant walk around the top of an otherwise bare hilltop.

We had lots of fun/ We got lost. We injured ourselves when our jaws kept hitting the floor. We would do it all again at the drop of a hat.

And MY response to his response

Of course, I beat you to it.

I knew you didn’t get anything out last night…and you never get up earlier than I do.

I also didn’t mention (and neither did you) how much fun you had speaking with the professors at the college demos. I remember one of the ceramic engineers mentioning how knowledgeable you are and you blowing him away with your 2 degrees in theatre. You seemed most relaxed and ‘at home’ on the campus.

I didn’t mention any other things Barton enjoyed…because he hasn’t relayed them to me yet…the campus stop didn’t need words.

I didn’t mention the mud at the Faire and my twisted knee (I thought that was going to ruin the whole trip) nor did I mention your two stumbles.

I didn’t mention any of the petty disagreements…BECAUSE they were petty. I am too full of the good the think about the ‘bad’.

And I didn’t mention all the books-on-tape we brought with…and didn’t listen to…because we were TALKING.


AND what both of us forgot to mention...

HELLHOUND!!
At one point in the trip, we were trying to find the Mark Twain National Forest campground....this was late and night and it was DARK. We finally found a sign that said picnic area...5 miles. We decided to see if the picnic area might have a map of the park. The 'road' was dark and narrow and twisty. Part of it ran through the forest and part of it along houses (well at least we could see mailboxes).

All of a sudden...woof, woof, woof,...WHAT'S THAT??(me)..a dog (B)...Are you sure? It might be a(me)...it's a dog(B) (I am now whimpering...remember dog + trigger)

Well, the Hellhound chased us for what seemed like 15 minutes (Barton says it was only 2 or 3). The barking was getting louder which meant it was catching up to us....(more whimpering from me). I never saw it...only heard it...Barton saw a large black dog running along side his side of the car...I STILL say it was a hellhound!!!!

Note to self: Never, Never, NEVER read spooking books before going camping!!!!!!!

I never said the dog was black, but it was a dark night and all dogs are black.

What I was talking about was the sixteen foot tall, black hell hound with glowing red eyes and huge fangs.

And it took so long to outrun the dog because she slowed down to avoid hitting it -- even though she didn't know where it was.

I have no idea what she would have done if it was a bear.

Barton

The hell hound story was the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Does nothing normal *ever* happen to you guys?

I'm so happy that you had such a wonderful vacation. God knows you've needed it, and it's been a LONG time coming. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Oh, yeah....and then there was the chicken truck.

Doing 70 mph down the hilly highway, we are following a truck filled with white chicken. There are chicken feathers flying everywhere. Until I went to check the radiator this morning, I had forgotten about it. There were feathers under the hood! I thought I had hit and killed something. Then Barton remembered the chicken truck.

Poor chikens!

Poor chickens!

I'm happy, at any rate, that you and Barton had fun, and I'm glad to see you back!