h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm in a self-destructive mood today. Probably shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car. It's so tempting. Pedal to the metal. Flirt with something solid. Maybe a little kiss. Not the tree though. It hasn't done me any harm. Probably not that car either. Bet I had *him* worried doing 45 mph with a pen in one hand and a pad of paper in the other, writing not watching the road. Safety railings are better. Hmmm…$250K in life insurance, another $250K in accidental death insurance (everyone knows my ankle/foot hasn't been working properly…I *could* pull this off). Not a bad legacy. I *am* worth more dead than alive.

Car payment's due today. The IRS and the mortgage company want their pound of flesh next week. The credit card companies are clamoring for their money. And so it goes. Can't divide 200/3000 and come up positive. I'm learning to 'cope' with everything except money problems. (No I can't, but those are the easiest to face). Too bad. I am making a decent salary, just in over my head. If we can just hold out a little longer, maybe I wouldn't have to hold up the whole financial burden, but I feel like the caryatid that has fallen under her stone. She tried so hard but in the end the stone was just too heavy. I just wish I wasn't dragging others down with me. I know he's trying too, but I know I can't possibly convey how terrified I am of being broke.

(yeah, sure *you* know what *else* you're trying to cope with today- talk about being self-destructive-don't hesitate, just get it over with-a little pain is good, let's you remember you're alive-you know it's for the best-why wait to get hurt when you can DO IT YOURSELF)

Erewhon found, but nobody is here.

Why is everyone so cheerful at work today?

That bottle of pills looks sooo inviting.

No, better wait until tomorrow…you have to help someone else who's counting on you out of *their* pit today.

This is the bottom of the pit but I'm still falling.

You can hang on for one more day.

When will tomorrow come?

Thanks, love

Feeling much better today.