h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

life is good. a bank holiday weekend that darrenwasn't working. for the squeamish amongst you, the next bit of this will involve ...feet...yes, those things that live just beneath my ankles. escape while you can...

walking past the local beauty parlour yesterday with darrenon our way to the greasy spoon for a fry-up, i stopped to read the price list in the window. the chappy saw me and rushed out with a leaflet and price guide for me. as me and his nibswandered down the road, he asked what i was thinking of having done and would it need a second mortgage(just kidding). i said the spa massage and pedicure sounded nice. he asked how much. 23 quid i replied. here's 23 quid he said. have it. so we had our fry-up and then went back. i didn't have to book an appointment and boy did i get my money's worth.

ok, so my feet aren't the nicest feet in the world. not by a longshot. but after i had foot spaedfor a while, the chap(who was japanese and had limited english-and i had even less japanese)was surprised, as was i at the sheer volume of dead skin he grated off(you know-those thingies like little parmesan graters). in the end he had to resoak my feet in the spa and then start razoring off the hard skin. i think i blunted the blade.

anyway, after god knows how many layers of epidermis were scrubbed off and the soles of my feet were actually soft(!), i had a lovely foot massage that started at my toes and went all the way up to my knees. then he started on my toenails, cuticles softened, pushed back and trimmed off, nails filed, buffed and polished. bliss.

then while my toenail polish was drying i thought i'd have a manicure, hand and lower arm massage and fingernail polish. i have decided i like being pampered. in spite of the fact the manacurist/pedicurist spoke hardly any english, he was able to tell me off for not using basecoat under my nail polish.

all in all i spent 36 quid(ok 13 quid and darrenpaid the rest), but i got about 2 hours worth of sheer indulgent bliss out of it.

thats sounds luvvvvvvverly..lucky moo

i think it might become a regular occurance.

xx

it would if it was me!

god knows how much theyd charge to touch my feet

I've only got 9 toes, do you think I'd get a discount?

maybe if you asked nicely! what happneed to number 10 though?

i read that in the states, women are having cosmetic surgery to remove their little toes so they can wear jimmy choo and malano blanicshoes, cos they are made narrower than the average foot.

i will stick to my trainers i think.

xx

I lost number 10 when I was 16 years old (it is my "ring" toe i.e. fourth one on the left foot). My Mum kept badgering the doctor because she felt the toe was not growing straight, so I had an operation on it to straighten it.

Unfortunately, they splinted the top bone with the bottom one, making the whole toe rigid and inflexible. I promptly broke it playing rounders. Not only broke it - but shattered it, very painful. Several visits to the hospital later and my Mum was fed up with the whole business, so when the doctor said it would probably be quicker for me to have it off (steady! steady!) she agreed, and in those days it was not my place to argue. Anyway, I quite fancied the celebrity status it would bring me at school.

Imagine all those times at PE when I would threaten the school bully with a sight of my "deformed" foot if she so much as came within a mile of me! Hmmm! Didn't quite work like that, and to be honest I forget about it now - only bring it out in humour!.

Trainers - yay! That's all I wear for work, and "Jesus boots" i.e. sandals, all the rest of the time - bare foot it I can manage it - certainly round the house. One trouble with having that toe missing though - the little toe is sort of out on a limb, and the number of times I have stepped forward and caught the poor little blighter on a chair leg, or something left on the floor are much too painful to mention.

Take care you all Universal Granny

It was my B'day yesterday and one of the presents Liz got me was a bottle of foot deodorising spray. She keeps telling me they smell but Im 6'4" so dont really get close enough to notice.

happy birthday. you should have said! 21 again?



xx

Ive been 21 for the past few years