h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And as I placed the budget toilet roll onto the corner shop counter, I looked down at my sandals, pyjamas and stylish leather jacket and thought to myself "Andrew, this truly is the greatest moment of your adult life."

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Budget toilet roll? Budget!!!

Where's the "unfriend" button?

Desperate times swl. Desperate times.

Would *you* shake hands with a man who uses budget toilet roll?

Depends how thoroughly he's washed his hands.

What's wrong with using yesterdays copy of the Times?

It'd mean buying a copy of the Times for starters.

nice and thick the times... lots of sheets for re-useage

I bet you never dreamed you'd be living large like this, huh?

I didn't. All those dreams, and I never once thought I'd be off work with the shits, wilting under the judgemental gaze of a man who lives in the place he works.

If we live our lives, and guide our mind and its throughts, by the views and opinions of others, then our path through life shall never be one of light and enlightenment, other's views and opinions are not to be ignored, but not to be taken to heart, as in each of us, in our actions, are things, and actions to which any number of other's may have reason to find outside of their own compass of existance

and. mind, not all cheap loo rolls are equal... I kinda always half a quarel with myself over the choices I make in regard to purchasing of stuch things, afterll, your only buying the stuff to cover it in mess and throw it down the loo or in the bin, so... hmmm....

I end with a quote.... from Blackadder, of course.... "my skin is as soft as a baby's bottom, which is more than can be said for my bottom" err, which is of not any particular relivence at all, it just sprugn to mind, as such things oftne do

I tend to bulk buy toilet roll (yeh I'm a toilet roll s**t, its the one advertised by the cute dogs), when its on offer, the buy one pack get one free offers, seem to ocme round with a supprising degree of regularity... as, indeed they do for the shampoo I tend to use (yeh, probably one advertised a lot on TV again, but probably not by cute dogs... hmm... maybe they're missing out on a trick there, I should E--mail them...)

Lidl do a very good quality loo roll I'm told. 8 for three pounds odd or something.

Meanwhile, just take your laptop to the bog.

You can't wipe your arse on a laptop.

Physiologically impossible, for one thing.

B

Of course you can! perfectly doable... Though one might question whether it were the right tool for the job....hmmm...A mac/IPad would probably make more sense...

Depends on the sizes of both arse and laptop, surely?

Most asses are strangely enough, about the same size... once you remove external influences that may alter ones view of such a thing, such as the buttocks... trust me... I've done a lot of research

Mind, of course, you shoudln't* be using a laptop/netbook/IPad/tablet, you shoudl be using a swan... apparently...

hang on... I've an idea....

Would it save money to use reusable 'matterial' for the 'job at hand'... I'm thinking, say, a toweling flannel (which can be bought for a quid or less and are half decent even at that price), but you'd need to include the cost of having a suitable number, for one's need, and then add on the cost of washign them, electric for the wahsing machine, dryer if being used, powder/capsuleds to wash them in etc...