h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just had one of the wierdest conversations ever with Kat, sat in the canteen at college.

Kat: What'd you do if you won the lottery?
Andy (me): Buy a farm in Yorkshire away from my mother and farm sheep.
Kat: Why sheep?
Andy: Profitable, wool, meat and whatnot.
K: I'd make a good farmer's wife, making jam and soup.
A: Errr, whatever.
K: Can I have a pig?
A: What?
K: A pet pot-bellied pig.
A: Sure.
K: And ducks.
A: I don't like ducks.
K: For Sam's kids to play with.
A: I don't want Sam on my farm!
K: I'm having a pig though.
A: Fine, have a pig.
K: To keep me company, when you neglect me for your sheep.
A: Wha?
K: And I'm having an affair?
A: Wha???
K: We're getting divorced. And I'm taking my pig.
A: Fine! Take your bloody pig and get out!

Nadine: None of this exists you know?
A&K: WE KNOW!!!

So, apparently my estranged wife to be will leave me because I neglect her for my flock of sheep? Not transcribed here are the argument on the way home about my preference of an old English sheepdog over a collie, and Sam's whine about not being invited for Christmas. And the argument about the LUFC coloured tinsel.

Keep on trukkin'
Andy

Thinking about it, I don't even want to have a sheep farm!

remind me of all the crazy conversations with Mark about Mong the dog, Guiness the cat and Turkeys conquering the world

Really? Turkeys you say?

RUN AWAY!! It's a killer attack turkey!!!!







... Ahem, yes....

Don't tell mick! Fred the turkey killed a chicken and a cow called Daisy in cold blood!