h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ever sat behind someone in a quiet room and wondered what would happen if you bit them on the back of the neck? Yeah, this song is about being in that kinda mood.

This song is for all of those people who have found moments of peace staring at the washing machine in spin cycle.

This is a song about those times in your life when you’re walking down the street thinking about something, and walk into a pole.

This song is about the day I realised that people only took me seriously when they were drunk.

This is a song about meeting a totally unspectacular person on a totally unspectacular night and talking about totally unspectacular things. You then come to the realisation that you’re really not spectacular enough to be so picky anyway, and end up going out with them.

I decided that there were too many jaded love songs out there, and far too many cutesy love songs. So this song is about that love we sometimes get enmeshed in that is just – well, weird…..

This is a song for all the people who marginalise the smokers, and then spend all summer soaking up UV rays, and all their hypocrite mates.

This is one of those songs that needs to be played loud. I wrote it for my next door neighbours, who are constantly telling me to turn the radio down... Sucked in, fellas!

This song is about getting left on public transport as a child. Once or twice is an accident. Three or four times is a little negligent. Getting left on the bus seventeen times in three months begins to smell like a conspiracy….

This song is about all those messed up nutcases I went to school with who are really sweet to me when I meet them on the street. If you were half as nice to me then as you are now, there’s no way I’d be such a psychopath.

This song is about that feeling you get when you’re being introduced to your partner’s parents, and realising that his (or her) mother is the therapist you were seeing for what has been described as “extremely strange sexual practice”.

This song is about trying to find a nice way of telling the gorgeous artist that you’ve just met that all of their art looks like crap.

This song was written while trying to figure out whether or not God created me for his own personal amusement.

This is one of those songs which was written purely to make all the other songs feel better. So a song can be thinking “Man, I’m such a sucky song, but at least I’m not (insert name of song here)!”

You know how sometimes you go out and spend all night trying to chat up someone who leads you on all night and then disappears? Yeah, well this is for them.

This is a song about that feeling you get when you realise the person you’ve been following around like a puppy dog for the last two years has a kid the same age as you….

Good song. Keep on doing it!!!



Terri.

Thanks

...one day I'll actually get around to finishing half of this stuff...but today is not the day...

Nah, I know the feeling, hence the w**king thread!!! It seems highly appropriate somehow, I am:counting the seconds till I can get together with the love of my life, rather inconveniently he lives in a different bloody country!!!!

What the hell, it's harmless amusement & the you-know -who's must be spitting kittens 'cos we can't get yikesed so long as it remains a double entendre!
!!!

te-he! (or should that be w**keye?)

Seriously though, you have some good ideas here.

Keep squeaking!



Terri.

I love the w**k thread...it's so cheeky...and there's nothing that can be done about it...

I used to go out with a boy who lived on the other side of the state to me (well, it felt like it!!) and that was bad enough for me...how can you deal with him being in a whole 'nother country?

Not bloody easy!!! At least it's not TOO far way, I'm in France & he's in UK, but it still means we are spending vast amounts of money (8 hour phone calls not unknown, plus email, msn & hooting) & LOADS of frustration on this!!

But, god, is it worth it!!!

He's been here once, I am going there this weekend. After that, it all depends on how quickly he becomes rich & famous! He is a cartoonist, I live in the cartoon capital of Europe, no ulterior motive, but brill coincidence, he has been invited here for the International Comics Festival.

We are praying!!!

He is here on hootoo at U181927 . Go see Papercuts if you haven't already done so A643583

*she won't be back for a while*



zdt

Wow, that's pretty nifty stuff, innit ??

Well, as they say "Where there's a will..." and all that stuff...

I've never really had the stamina or concentration span for that kind of thing...but I'll keep my fingers crossed that he becomes rich and famous soon!!

Wow, I dont know what to say, its like looking in a strange mirror, tho I like it. Wish I could draw a picture that sais all that but my drive to draw sorta dissapeared. drawing was a way for me to escape and show off a bit too. I quess Im too impatient to create what I imagine but you inspire me a bit. You are a talented writer. Im glad I read read your song.

Thanks, jerk (wow, I never thought I'd say that with any degree of sincerity )!!

Alas, my writing is purely self-serving, and will never be fit for "public consumption"...

...actually, I think it's for the best that it never be released to the public...the greater good and all !

And trust me, if you look into any mirror and see anything resembling me, it must indeed be a strange on!

You should seld it to Halmark cards

Ah yes.... "Greeting Cards for the Slightly Unhinged and Not...Quite...Right"

Im sure they would be popular

They'd sell well with the people I know !

would they give them to eachother?

It's an option, isn't it?

Although I must admit that i like the thought of sending them to "normal" people...if I can spread the madness in any way at all...I feel as though I'm serving my purpose on Earth !

Share the wealth and give some second helpings

Exactly!

And there's more than enough madness to go around, so let's not be greedy...

Tanzen
(bite someone you love today!)

You must be ready leave work and its my bed time, off to the land of nod for me.

And on that - it's home time for little girls!

Goodnight!