h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If a tree said "I think, therefore I am", would it matter?

Only if it's an oak. You can never get a sensible conversation out of an oak.

Sentience would be a horrible fate for a tree. Sentience without mobility, stuck for decades or centuries in one spot... It might make one rather irritable. One might want to take that irritability out on random passers-by.

http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Whomping_Willow

Life's a beech

It's oak kay as long as you don't make an 'ash of it.

It's easy writing about trees. Elm Entry.

Are entries about trees very poplar?

I haven't seen too many, by and larch.

Ah, that old chestnut.

By gingko, he's got it!

You wood say that