h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just had one of those weeks when you really give up on a lot of stuff. Just when stuff goes wrong andnothing you do can seem to make things right again. When you just want to scream and rant but you know it's pointless, cos it won't change anything.

I don't know, writing it down always seems to sort stuff out for me better than speaking, cos then I have to crystallize everything in my mind before I write it so i can really get thngs straight.

What do you do when your life was so sorted before and now it's all topsy turvy and nothing you can do seems to make it right again? Last year I was doing well in my degree, had a sorted group of friends who I could always rely on to come round and cheer me up, a person who i loved and who made me feel like the most special person in the world because he loved me too and who made me feel so beautiful and worthwhile.
Now my degree is going to pot, mainly I think because I'm getting the symptoms of a sleep disorder I thought I had got rid of 2 years ago. All my real friends have graduated and now the closest lives over 100 miles away. They still care and i speak to them often, but they can't come round when I need support or be available when I need a chat. They are getting their own lives, with work and things. My boyfriend, well the less said about that the better I think. The frieds I do have left here are always trying to get me together with other people, but they dont understand. i don't do one night stands or short meaningless relationships. They're just not me, and there's no way I'm ready to even think about having a proper relationship again. I just want things back to how they were last year. The more I try to pretend that life is really ok for me, the more I realise it really isn't and i don't know what to do about it.

What a rant, eh? Just glad i can get it out and maybe I'll come back to this page every so often and start putting things right bit by bit when I have the courage to address my issues. Sounds all rather crap and self-pitying I suppose, butI fell beter for doing it already so it can't be all bad.

So chin up, and see youse later.