h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Went for the tchaikovsky symphony orchestra performance last night (they were playing rachmaninoff’s symphonic dances, and tchaikovsky’s serenade for strings and 1812 overture). All I can say is... foof... if they were cooks, their dishes would taste and smell just right - but the kitchen would be in a bloody mess. In terms of mood and expression, they’d gotten things nailed down - hell, I could *taste* red army in the music - but aiyaiyai, I have never known an international orchestra to drop so many notes on the concert floor... well, not in the same way that rubinstein did, but still...

You know how rach likes to make use of pizzicatos, and how pizzis are supposed to have this nice pik-pik-pik sound? Well... let’s just say that the symphonic dances pizzis came out as plik-plik-plik. My friend and I were looking at each other incredulously, certain that we’d heard wrong, or that our ears were too far apart or something. But then it happened again... and again... and again. And when they p’p’p’p’lik’d their way through the ending of the second movement of serenade, we *knew*. Aiyaiyai. It was quite tragic, really, because expressions-wise, they were a great deal better than our local orchestra.

Anyhow, it was a very interesting performance, the highlight of which was the breaking of the string on one of the first violinists’ instrument (which he had to trade with another violinist in the third row). And oh... this is interesting… during the rach, we kept on hearing this rather annoying whooshing/shooshing sound coming from somewhere near the front. I was angrily scanning the audience for the culprit when... wait for it, wait for it... I happened to look in the direction of the stage and discovered that the source of the annoying noise was the *conductor* himself. Every time they got to a soft, expressive bit, he’d wave his arms grandiosely and at the same time go ‘shoooooosh’.... Cripes... and if you thought this was irritating, the serenade for strings started with a *grunt*...

I would have to say that the 1812 was by far their best piece - it was loud enough to wake up the dead, and so charged with emotion that it almost tore you apart. (the conductor grunted his way through it all as though he'd been shot multiple times) Oh, and it was earth-shaking as well. I imagine that seismologists are puzzling over a richter 6 earthquake that hit our city at about 10.15 last night... I’m glad they didn’t bring in the pyrotechnics because, frankly speaking, the orchestra provided their own spectacular explosions.

Ah well... the Leipzig orchestra is coming in from germany in june... let’s hope they’re tidier than these guys were...