h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

9pm: It seems like we weren’t going to get a game together on this night. We called everyone and everyone was busy. Kosker, Pitts and I played a 3 chip tourney with unlimited re-buys. I won the hell out of it, and it was the best poker I ever played. We called Wolf and King (even though I didn’t really want to.) They both said they will be there in half an hour. Mitch also said he would show up.

11:30pm: Wolf shows up an hour and a half late. Still no sign of King or Mitch. We just sit around and watch Koskers films. We decided to play a game with just us four. We played and I don’t remember any beats. Pitts chopped with Wolf on this one.

12am: Mitch shows up looking better then ever. King is still not anywhere to be found. But who gives a shit anyway? We left him for dead and never called again. We begin a tourney. In this tournament Kosker makes a wonderful bluff that earned him three player points. It was like this.

Mitch: [Ah-Qh]
Kosker: [Th-8h]
I think in this one Mitch raised it up preflop, I don’t remember but I am assuming. Kosker called.
Flop: [Jh-4h-7d] Mitch bet $100 and Kosker called it.
Turn: [Qs] Mich bet $100 and Kosker called that too.
River: [Kd] They both missed their flushes, and for some reason Mitch checks here. I suppose the king scared him. Koskie took advantage of the weakness and bet $200 right into him. Mitch folded! What a great bluff. I don’t really understand why Mitch folded but the bluff worked and so it was a monster.

Kosker defend his big blind against me every time. He also wins everytime he does. Like this example here, I have [ATs] and he has [A7]. I go all-in for a little under $500 and he calls. We both flop aces, except he turns his 3-out kicker… Twisted… I am angry. A little later Mitch got his revenge on Kosker with a pretty good bluff.

Mitch: [JK]
Kosker: [JT]
Flop: [9T4] I don’t remember too well, but I think Kosker bet, and Mitch raised a lot and Kosker thought for a while and let it go. Player point for Mitch.

Me and Mitch both end up re-buying and I am a little angry that good cards cannot win tonight. My favorite situation comes up yet again. I have a very good hand [AK], while Kosky has two random cards in the big blind. I raise and he checks to see if it’s suited. [3s5s] It’s suited all right. He calls my raise and flops a pair of fives, I don’t flop anything. I am soooooo pissed.

1am (The time of paranormal beats): I think when the clock hit one we went into another world where probability goes out the window. The beats start fast too.

Kosker: [J9]
Mitch: [A7]
Flop: [JJA] As you can see this is a very good flop for Kosker. I don’t remember the betting but I think it’s safe to say there was some.
Turn: [A] Beat! 2-outer!
River: [8] Mitch takes it down.

Mitch went all-in happily with [KK] and got called even more happily by Pitts with [AA]. No beats here, everything went fine. Kosker was angry at Handsome for some reason and was gunning for him. Kosker went all in with [K2] and Handsome called with [KT] from his big blind. Things where looking dire for Kosker. The flop came [KKJ] and the turn [Q]. Koskie was jumping up and down on this out they both had the same hand and where going to split. He was having a great time, and then Pitts says “Well, maybe a strait…” Pitts burns and rivers an [A], that’s a strait for Handsome and Kosker sinks in his seat. Throughout this night Kosker has been losing with “rock” (Poker pairs below JJ) and declared that he is never playing rock again. We play for a while longer in our third tourney until I go all in with [TT] and get called by Handsome’s [A8]. I am pretty much used to having the Ace always come so I was ready. No ace came, the only thing that came was a [T] for me, and a runner-runner gutshot for Handsome’s [8]. TWISTED BEAT! Kosker reminded me that I shouldn’t play rock.

2am: We are all so upset we decide to play real no-limit. I was too upset to write down to much in this no limit game. I know there where many many beats and many pots that where over $30. Here is a beat I did write down.

Handsome: QQ] Preflop Handsome raised $4
Kosker: [55] Kosker called the raise.
Flop: [369] Kosker went all in for about 17$ and Handsome called. When Kosker saw what happened he was devastated. Don’t worry Kosker this is the night of paranormal beats, the night where every 3 or 2 outer comes. Every runner-runner makes it!
Turn: [7]
River: [8] That’s a strait for Kosker! Take down that $40 pot!

My game was sharp, but I kept on losing anyway. I called a few all-ins I shouldn’t have and I had to re-buy three times. I was getting more and more angry as I lost, as most people would. Then I finally got a hand… THE HAND.

Alex: [Ah-Qs]
Handsome: [Kh-Qd]
Mitch: [Qh-Js]
Pitts: [??]
Kosker: [??] Kosker and Pitts are only here because they called pre-flop but folded the flop. So their cards are not important. Preflop I think Kosker raised it to $2 and Handsome re-raised to $5. I simply called, and so did everyone else. The pot is now $25 and everyone was excited for to see the cards.
Flop: [9d 3h 6h] Handsome bet $2 into this pot. I looked at my AQ and thought for a long time how I could win. If a Q or an A fell I would be very sure my hand was best. I would prefer a Q to an A since AK might be out there. I have the nut heart, so runner-runner hearts would give me the nuts. I looked at the pot. I had to call $2 to win a $27 pot with people still to act behind me. This pot was simply to big to let go. I called, and so did Mitch. Kosker and Pitts dipped out.
Turn: [9d 3h 6h][5h] I got my heart draw. Handsome bet $4 this time. I don’t think his hand got any better, and even if he did make a flush just now. I am getting the right price to call for one more heart and take down this pot. Mitch also called, and I put him on hearts as well. At this point I am fairly sure that I am not looking at anything huge like AA or KK although it is possible for Handsome to have KK with the K of hearts and be slowplaying a little.
River: [A] I loved this card. I was %90 sure this gave me the best hand. Handsome seemed a little upset as he bet $3. The pot looked like it was around $50 and if I was going to stay here now then I wanted to get max payoff. I really didn’t think he had me beat, especially after how upset he seemed with the river card. I raised him $3 more. Now Handsome went into a shell. He was thinking really hard which was good for me, it told me that I was not beat. I thought he was going to go all in as a last ditch effort to take this pot away from me but instead he only raised me $6. I called and said “Aces” he mucked his cards angrily and I raked a $60+ pot. Wow! I love no-limit. We finished up shortly after.

5am: We decide that Denny’s is the right play. We had a great time there talking about cards life and everything else. The night was a success.

Let me tell you about my paranormal beat, it goes a little something like this...
Me (9,9)
Player 1 (A,2)
Player 2 (A,6)
My move was all in preflop, I hate drawing with pocket pairs. The bet was respectable but it wasn't respected. Player 1 and Player 2 both called. As we exposed our cards I was overcome with joy; Aces are dead and they don't have any overcards or flush draws. I wouldn't be telling you about this hand if it wasn't a paranmormal beat but let me tell you just how big a of a potential beat this was. I ran the statistics and they look something like this...

Holdem Hi: 1370754 enumerated boards
cards win %win lose %lose tie %tie EV
6s Ad 10830 0.79 1082426 78.97 277498 20.24 0.109
As 6d 10830 0.79 1082426 78.97 277498 20.24 0.109
9c 9h 1071596 78.18 295366 21.55 3792 0.28 0.783

Needless to say I am a HEAVY favorite. I sure wish somebody would have warned me about superior hands. The board came like so...
[K,A,3,7,8]
I lost my buy-in and closed off the outside world.

I think there is an error in your calculations. You have 99 A6 and A6. Wasn't that an A2? The numbers are still heavily in your favor, but the 6 and 2 being live make you a little beatable. A twisted beat still.

hey, you're right, thank you

Let me tell you about my paranormal beat, it goes a little something like this...
Me (9,9)
Player 1 (A,2)
Player 2 (A,6)
My move was all in preflop, I hate drawing with pocket pairs. The bet was respectable but it wasn't respected. Player 1 and Player 2 both called. As we exposed our cards I was overcome with joy; Aces are dead and they don't have any overcards or flush draws. I wouldn't be telling you about this hand if it wasn't a paranmormal beat but let me tell you just how big a of a potential beat this was. I ran the statistics and they look something like this...

Holdem Hi: 1370754 enumerated boards
cards win %win lose %lose tie %tie EV
2s Ad 102155 7.45 1146780 83.66 121819 8.89 0.118
As 6d 143068 10.44 1105867 80.68 121819 8.89 0.148
9c 9h 1003712 73.22 362810 26.47 4232 0.31 0.733

Needless to say I am a HEAVY favorite. I sure wish somebody would have warned me about superior hands. The board came like so...
[K,A,3,7,8]
I lost my buy-in and closed off the outside world.