h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last night was rather interesting ... it was the LGB Christmas Ball, for which I had been preparing for a couple of weeks (e.g. buying skincare products, hairgel, cufflinks, a silver bowtie). So anyway, after meeting a few of the UMIST LGB guys (and the two Richs from the UoM one) in Spirit, we ambled along to the Palace Hotel - very nice place, possibly *too* nice for us. We had our dinner but I wasn't drinking any alcohol, so most people were getting progressively drunker and drunker - dancing inevitably followed, which I can now say is virtually impossible with drinking any alcohol at all!

Basically, when the Ball came to an end, I was still stone-cold sober and at a bit of a loose end, so James (the afore-mentioned UMIST LGB treasurer) and his current b/f Matt took me along to Cruz 101 - after a bit of a delay while they changed and I got lost! We also met "Bitch" Rich there, so we all ordered drinks (I was still not drinking alcohol). A little while later, Rich asked me to say hi to this largish Chinese guy at the bar that he said he fancied. Initially I refused, but James and Matt also goaded me into it, so I got this guy's attention and told him that this guy behind me wanted to say hi - only Rich had disappeared. However, this guy had a woman with him who insisted she tried my glasses on - and then *she* ran away! In the meantime, this guy had grabbed my crotch and then (after I had turned to try and see where this lady had gone) pulled me towards him and started snogging me! The slightly shameful thing is I didn't actually try and stop him (I kinda kissed him back , although I wasn't physically attracted to him) - and bear in mind I was still sober. This went on for about a minute and a half, two minutes, before the woman came back and berated the guy for being gross (although she didn't aim this at me and gave me my glasses back) before taking him away.

Now I was still in a slight state of shock and was ready to throttle Rich (or even reciprocate in kind). However, James eventually persuaded me to have a drink (an alcoholic one) - well, he actually kinda ordered me to have it and I gave in but under protest! So I got an Archers and cola and (surprisingly) I actually quite enjoyed it, so this got followed by a small bottle and a half of Smirnoff Ice. The thing is, I normally do not drink at all, so this was my first experience of getting p****d, and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be - I did feel a little bit more wobbly on my feet than usual, but apart from that it was OK. I remember spending quite a while chatting to Matt while James had gone to the toilet (I think he took about half an hour, so we chatted for a long time!). Eventually, after the club closed and I got lost yet again, I finally found James' hall of residence (mostly to use his toilet) and we did some more chatting with one of his flatmates before Matt walked home and I took a taxi back to my house.

So what conclusions can I draw from that night? Well, first of all, I didn't really have as much of a hangover as I feared, so that's OK. Secondly, I finally managed to get my first snog in about 5 and a half months! I actually kinda feel indebted to both Rich and James for that evening - yet another couple of inhibitions removed.

It was fun wasn't it. By the way, it's very easy to dance without alcohol, you just have to not care what anyone thinks about you

And I don't generally - there were a few people there who I would've liked to impress a little, but since I wasn't really on the pull it wouldn't have mattered too much. It took a little while before I got into the dancing thing (although I did have a slight feeling I was dancing a bit like my former music teacher at school - again, not a pleasant sight!), but I was certainly doing the dancing to ABBA in Cruz 101 after the drinks!

Cruz 101 scares me, all those old men. I'm glad I wasn't on the pull last night, it meant I could have a laugh with some very good-looking guys

You're right - there were quite a few older men there - some of whom bumped into us while making their way to a wall for a quick snog! I think that guy I snogged was a bit older than me (I'm 22 BTW if you hadn't worked that out yet), but probably one of the younger ones there along with James and Matt (both 18/19) and Rich (I've no idea how old he is, but he's probably younger than me - you might know!).

I don't have a clue how old Rich is, I don't really talk to him. You're just a tart, y'know, snogging some random stranger you barely know. Tsk tsk! Tsk tsk!

Thanks very much, Mr All-Snoggers-Are-Tarts! (I don't know your sexual history, so I can't comment on it - mine is very limited indeed.) The thing was, he started kissing me and I thought it was rude not to let him - I was also in a sort of "oh, f**k it" mood as well.

Besides, there was absolutely no hormonal tingling on my part - if we hadn't been interrupted, I think he would eventually have been put off by the lack of (ahem) hardness. Even if I had been physically attracted to him, I would've asked his name before we did anything else!

I was only teasing, I know what a real tart is like, I hang aroung with Froggy who's had most guys in the LGB

Ah yes, I think he's been mentioned before (probably at the Laser Quest thingy). I don't think there are many tarts in the UMIST LGB - although I don't know how much gets bandied about between Wednesday lunches (the story of chair Tom's belt being found in Cruz - I think - has been going for the past two months)!