h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So here we are, back in London after a blissful week in Barcelona. Barcelona... city of Gaudi and Rivaldo, stocked with stunning architecture, drenched in sun and fried in extra virgin olive oil.

For those that can't afford the Rough Guide or Lonely Planet, I therefore offer my Quick Dash through Barcelona. And please bear in mind that this was the first bit of serious quality time I had spent with my girlfriend for weeks and weeks, so if we didn't get out and about quite as much as we should have, well... you know why.

Las Ramblas

This is the Oxford Street of Barcelona... urchins, tourists and open-air stalls selling junk, souvenirs, canaries, etc. Plenty of those performance artists who seem to think that painting themselves blue, shoving a feather up their arse and then standing very very still, is somehow worthy of payment.

Le Seu

The cathedral. Big, impressive, costs £3 to get in. They never asked me for money to get into St Paul's. Typical Spanish efficieny meant that it took the best part of 600 years to finish.

Barrio Gotic

Or Gothic Quarter. Smaller streets, smellier, charming in an American tourist oh-my-gaaawd-didya-see-THAT? sort of way. Ugh.

The Food

On the whole, excellent. Reasonably-priced, good quality and plenty of it. Stand-out was a restaurant called Les Quinze Nits, just off Las Ramblas: excellent 3-course meal for 2 with 2 bottles of wine and coffee was 60 euros. Or about £40 to you and I. Bargain. An added frisson: there were some 20 people queueing ahead of us to get in, but as the only couple in the line we bypassed them all to take the last table a deux. Cue many dirty looks and some sniggering on our part.

Booze

Not enough beer variety. Everyone drinks, and everywhere serves, Estrella, which appears to be the local stuff. Tastes like p**s, to be honest, which might explain the propensity of Americans looking right at home.

And there we go. Trust me, it's a great place and I highly recommend it. And if you're unsure where to stay you could do a lot worse than the Hotel Barcelona Universal on Avenue Paral-lel.

Keep smiling