h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wandering aimlessly around her campus.
First snow and the last dance.
It's hard, so much harder when you can see it coming.
Like a car crash in slow motion.
All is noise and then silence.
The world has gone and left me here.
And it's really cold.
I'm freezing in the dark.
I looked into her eyes,
And saw nobody I ever knew.
Such a hideous reality.
And one I have been avoiding,
For Oh-so Long.
And now comes the worst,
For I know it's over.
And I have to get back to where I was,
Before it's too late.

Oh Aone,

All this love,
Turns to bitterness,
So quickly.
With no way back,
And no concievable way forward,
This is how I must cope.
I'm twisting inside.
In such pain,
It hurts to be here.
I cannot take this.
Without her.
I cannot stand it.

I know that you can't believe this now, but all pain does lessen, the hole will become smaller and one day you will realise that you've gone 24 hours without thinking of her. Until then

I was with this girl for THREE years El. Every day was spent with her. We lived together, ate together, everything together. She was my soulmate and now she's gone.
Nothing is ever going to be OK ever again.
I have lost the most important thing in my life.
It's far too early to think about when I won't think about her because I DO want to think about her. I want her to love me as much as she used to and I want to be the same person I loved with all my heart. I still do love her but only because I'm so f***ing weak and powerless over her.

I can't say anything to make you feel better - that's an impossibility. All I can say is that if you need someone to rant at or just to listen - I'll be around.

Thanks El. I mean that.
She just phoned me actually. Now it's all: Lets be friends.
F*** that. I've got enough friends. I just don't know what to do. She wants me in her life but when I tell her the truth (I love her etc) she's like 'Please don't.'
The thing is: I know I'm going to play along and pretend to be friends with her because I can't NOT have her in my life. Even though I suspect that that will make things worse and I will end up resenting her.
Man, I'm screwed.

Poor thing.



Time does heal, it's true, but you can't rush it either. Try to put the good things and times you had together into a special treasure box in your head, safely wrapped up in cotton wool.

Hey man you are not screwed, she has different ideas than what you have, if you cant be just friends then you have to tell her that, otherwise every time she contacts you as mates you will feel lost again, you have to make the break as hard as it sounds

Ah - I have been that woman, so (I hope that this makes sense) - she hates to see you hurting and doesn't want to lose the intimacy and understanding of self that she had in your relationship, so she wants to keep in touch. Also she's hurting too and feeling guilty, so it will make her feel better as well. Choices are, to go with it and let things fizzle out (as they will do eventually), but prolong the pain (even if its deadened slightly) or to walk away - there are no correct decisions where feelings are concerned.

Hey I'm 40 something and I STILL screw up! But when (a couple of years ago) my other half and I were having a "difficult time" (understatement really)and were breaking up, his reaction was "I don't want to see you, don't want to speak to you, if you don't want to be in a relationship, I'm not going to be around as your "friend"." It didn't take me long to realise that I couldn't cope without having him around. Thing was he meant it, it wasn't a ploy.

So that's enough of my anecdotes and opinions - what you need is a sounding board, so I'll shut up!

So you think it'll fizzle out no matter what?
I know I can't leave her. I know that. And I've made the mistake in the past of being the prick who has done the whole 'I never want to see you again' routine and it made things worse.
See, she's only just gone to Uni and of course things are going to change for her and she will change too. It's just that...oh, I don't f***ing know.
Everything is f***ed.

It wont be that quick, but in time it will fizzle, but that time depends on you, how quick you deal with it.

It looks as though she is starting a new life at uni and that life at the mo does not involve you alas, a relationship is always hard to hold together when you are miles apart mate

Thanks, you're making me feel so much better.

I lived apart from her for six months on the other side of the world and we did fine so I don't believe in the long distance thing not working.

I refuse to just let her go. I refuse.

All of this is academic anyway. Nobody but me and she know US and only we can know what comes next.

I didnt mean it in a nasty way, sorry if it came across like that

Aone - exactly.

However, all we can say (because all we can use is words, so a pat on the shoulder, a hug or even a sympathetic look is not possible) is what has happened to us and hope that you either gain an insight or a comfort from it. Otherwise we'll just be reduced to saying "There, there".

Every situation isdifferent, it may well be that you will be best friends for years, she may have a change of heart or you may suddenly meet somone who puts every thing that has gone before in the shade. I don't know, I'm not psychic - I just wish a friend well.

Thanks El. It's all just a bit too soon to be doom and gloom about it. I have to think that the best will come and that maybe there is still hope.
I once told her I would never give up on her no matter what happened.
And I won't.
You are what you love, not what loves you.

A friend once asked me what was most important to me in a relationship if I couldn't have both - being loved or loving someone. Loving someone came out tops for me and it sounds like it does for you.

I wish you every luck and I'm glad to see that "weak and powerless" seems to be fading away and is being replaced by "hopeful and purposeful"!

If you feel that strongly about her Tidal, then go for it and dont give up but do it in a cool way that will make her want you also and not pressurise her and force the issue to much cause that wont work.

I know you are hurting and feeling like sh*t at the moment and i wish you all the best mate, i mean that

Just play is easy and calm thats all, then things might work again