h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"We all lead interesting lives, and your Journal is the place to tell everyone exactly what makes your days buzz by."

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

My life is SOOOO interesting.

Dead-end job, no publisher (although I did print five copies of the first chapter of my new novel, plus cover letter; I mean to send them off this week), depressing love life (D AWOL again, he hinted at troubles with the girlfriend, but I can't help him in that department. How could I), no prospects of any kind except to grow old and die alone.

Well, that is how I feel anyway.

My prospects are different - I am not intending to grow old and I have kids so dieing alone could be out of plans too.
Other than that -

Greta I hope there is still some magic in your future. We all need that.

I second that!

Don't worry, I have it from the 's mouth that she's curling up with a nice warm copy of "The hitchiker's guide to the galaxy" ce soir & hoping that life, the universe & everything will have improved by the time she finishes it!

--if not, give me a ring Greta, I'll phone you straight back & we can have a REALLY good whinge together!


Terri

No, it hasn't one bit... honestly. It's all a bit useless.

My therapist says that my life is meaningful only because it is. I keep waking up in the morning and wondering why I should bother to go through another day that is going to be exactly like the day before it. Work (sh*t), eat, go home, go to the gym, eat, watch telly, sleep. Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.

Oh yeah, of course I have those five copies of my first chapter printed out. They're on my desk, waiting to be sent off. And if I don't, nobody's going to do it for me. But this is it. If I don't send them off, my book is never going to see the light of day. But if I do, and nobody likes it, there goes my last hope, my last dream out of the window, and there's no use telling me that I'll write another one, because I'll never have the strength to try again.

It's like I'm clinging to this last resort, trying to make it last, but of course it won't. I've got to act quickly. I'm paralyzed by fear and anxiety and insecurity. This is the only dream I have left. What would I do if I lost it? What would I do if life suddenly became the Road to Nowhere I suspect it is, and the prospect for me were to just walk on uneventfully and die?

The answer, my friends, is not 42.

No Hallmark-variety or New Agey psychobabble, please. All that talk about finding my inner strength has really worn me out. What is inner strength if you've got nothing to look forward to, and what you're looking at is loneliness and boredom.

My therapist says, tell the screw keeping you locked in to b*gger off, you are one marvellous specimen of human being and life will be generous to you if you stop listening to the voice in your head that tells you that you're no good.

It just won't shut up.

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't.
Richard Bach

Just from what you've said Greta, I like your therapist.

Hati, I love Richard Bach's work, especially Illusions.

JE

It's one of my favourite books at all.
It always gives some hope.

Work (sh*t), eat, go home, go to the gym, eat, watch telly, sleep. Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.


I cannot work or go to the gym.
I forget to eat cause I have NO appetite and not much memory
Sleeping is a painful chore and crap shoot
I am not physically independant.

For me to believe you are worthless means I should listen to the negative voice in MY head, it says:
I just take up space,I do not add to the world,I am not independant.

I do NOT say this for guilt or a pity party, it's my daily life.
Hang in there by taking the next step.
Honor and aknowlege your whole self.

Hey! Folks, Just to wake up to face another day, is a miracle in itself, especially for usMy wife has chronic emphysmia, every day we have left together is a wonderful dayI can just get about the house with a back injury that leaves me in agony even when I sneeze!
We are what we call a "fine pair" but we still find time toSo dont let the world wear you down, fight back! grab it by the throat and say S*d off Im going to have a good day
Smudger.

"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't."

OK, I'm alive. But what is my mission? And if there is one, am I carrying it out? What IS the purpose? I thought my mission was to write for myself and other people. Why am I so scared of going ahead with it? Why am I obsessed by the idea of having made all the wrong choices, got on the wrong road?

What if my mission was to be a Missionary of Charity, and I blew it by being an agnostic? What if I missed my mission altogether and am just ambling along the road, until I come to an unfinished overpass and jump off, because it's really over, and I haven't done anything with my years on Earth?

What if my years on Earth aren't really meant to signify anything?

Why do I have to be responsible and wise and go to work every day to do a job that is killing my spirit?

What is the meaning of being so unhappy? I have given up on love, the only other thing that makes me truly happy. I don't believe in it anymore. And if the loss of my belief has to mean something, anything, why isn't its purpose revealed to me?

Hi Greta, Good to hear from you again, you sound a bit mixed up today and I dont blame you for that, I can relate to being in a job that you hats and it saps your soul, and I can understand your questioning on the meaning of life. What I have found to be a comfort when feeling like this,is to sit and write a letter to the only person who can help, yourself! OK sounds daft I know, but when I was going through my bad spell with post tramatic stress syndrome (I think thats what they called, flash backs & nightmares)I found it helped, I even found that my giving myself a severe rollicking, then to read it later, it helped me come to terms with myself. I thought I was losing my mind at times, between that and the medication I lost touch with reality, in fact I wrote some poetry at the time expressing my feelings. When I read some time later, it was heavy stuff. I never had a thearapist, or whatever they are called, so writing everything down helped me get over the hill I think. I dont think a thearapist could have helped me either, it has to be someone who has gone through it themselves.
Smudger.

Hi Smudger, Ellen here. I didn't realize you had had trouble with PTSD. I had it really bad for a number of years, especially come springtime. Last year it was not too bad, so I am actually looking foward to Spring this year. Is a welcome change. I have immense empathy with anyone who has survived trauma.

Hi Ellen, It was bad for a while, but then luckily (if you can say having an injury that finishes your working career)I had to stop work. I think that really cured me, just being away from it all every day. I never mention it usually, its just that when I read Gretas entry, it seemed to ring a bell in my head,Eh!
Smudger.

Hope you are feeling a bit better Greta. If not we are still here, either way
Ptsd is difficult to say the least. If it has a time of year,it's helpful. At least you know when it's coming, once you make the connection. The body always remembers *nods*

and some company