h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Getting depressed about the ex today... Not something you want to do but it happened. You just start thinking of something, and when as much of your life has been occupied like that it often leads onto thoughts concerning her.

Not even so much her, as the relationship we had. Memories of a girl smiling on getting her A-level results that I had spent two years coaching her though, a girl who when I first met her couldnt light a spliff or fag when it was near the butt for fear of burning herself, a girl who I taught so much, and returned the favour and taught me too.

Well, not even so much memories of a girl. -Memories of a young couple.

Happy.

It grates all the more finely that she is happy right now, I'd guess happier than she was with me... Whereas me, Im stumbling through life thinking, 'Well, it dont get much better then this.' And it doesnt, this is natural baseline level. This is my natural level of happiness, this is where I hover in my single life.

And Id forgotten this, I just thought I was Mr. Happy Chappy all along. But no.

And it would make me feel a bit better if I could even bloddy pull.

Life: Wandering down a middle path being alternately hit by dog s**t and flowers.

But someones overdoing the dog s**t to get back at me for lots of flowers right now it seems.

My teenage years of actually developeing and doing things were wasted with someone.

B**locks.

And even I piss myself off.

Ill sit here, moaning, staring at a wall getting depressed. And then go into another lab to talk to people and start joking around again. Feelings still there and everything. I think I've spent so long as the joker I dont know how to change myself back.

As I said, I piss myself off.

Now that aint good.

You gotta stop torturing yourself...sh*t like that, it's just a part of life. Everyone goes through it; that's how you end up with the perfect person when you are old. Nowt wrong with having those feelings...just STOP TORTURING YOURSELF...ye daft monkey...

If I could stop doing it I bloddy would.

I dont like being depressed.

'that's how you end up with the perfect person when you are old. '

Not necessarily, think of all the lonely single old people there are, and thats from a generation of people who formed lifelong relationships and stuck with them if they werent working, out of 'pride'.

Our generation is going to be f**k loads of lonely old singles.

I dont intend to live that long.

oops swearing,
arent I a bad boy.

Christ. If this is what I'm like when I'm depressed, God save us all.

Do you REALLY need another person to complete your life? Are things that sad?

And. Haha. You swore. Bad Bob.

At no point have I said I want another person to complete my life.

If I could pull regularly Id probably eschew romance totally.

If a beautiful girl came and said, 'be with me forever'. Id say 'no' I dont want relationships, I think you misunderstand.

Ok then Bob *pats him on the head*

Still can't work out how you don't pull...

Possibly because you walk around in circles? Like a demented hamster...

I don't think I am well today. Bleh.

I have always walked in circles at the Bierkeller, even in the old days when I could pull... Its tradition, or old charter, or something... So many people need chatting to, I just walk around chatting to the people and seeing what is up...

So social!

I talked to more people than I thought I would on Friday...

*is still thinking about the hot blonde Scottish girl*

*Wishes he saw the hot blonde scottish girl*

*whines*

She was so pretty

Stupid boyfriend. I could have pulled her...

*grumbles*

Well, when I was with my ex Id never have complained if she pulled a girl, as long as she brought her back to share. She never pulled though...

Ah, I tried that one. But I think I was too drunk to sound convincing. I wouldn't have minded sharing her with her boyfriend. Wouldn't have minded her boyfriend either!

Stupid alcohol.

*walks off grumbling*

s

You think you'll get over her if you pull.

perhaps the truth is you won't pull until you get over her.

give it time, hang out with your mates, enjoy their friendship....

Well, I was pulling well enough when Id just split with her...

Its not about 'her' anymore. The sad memories are for a failed relationship, rather than for her. Do you see what I mean? No love for her, but a love for what we had...

Oh well.

Something'll turn up to keep the monotony at bay im sure, well, I hope....

That's good, to have nice memories of what you had. Like a little box of treasures that you keep wrapped up in cotton wool, and only take out occasionally to smile at, and then put away again.

I'm sure too, that something will turn up.

Box of treasures?

No, a box of pain.

That, like a scab you cant stop picking, I have to keep looking into. Smile, yeah, but a wry sad one...

...and keep on playing The Downward Spiral...