h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... As Billy himself might have said (although I think NOT.... !!)
Listening to the news this morning over breakfast, it suddenly occurred to me: we 'hear and accept' certain combinations of names without question, whereas others would 'sound' somehow strange or even totally inappropriate.

This morning's example [boo! boo! or maybe not, depending on your personal view of the man] was TONY BLAIR.

I can't ever think of him being discussed, mentioned or addressed in any other way (although I believe that at election time it is required to read out the candidate's full name as it appears on his/her birth certificate).

Ssomehow, I could never imagine ANTONY BLAIR leading this Government. Similarly I couldn't imagine a TONY EDEN-led administration, or one under the control of WILLIAM CLINTON, or GEORGIE BUSH.

And while we're at it, who'd buy a script written by BILLY SHAKESPEARE ('sorright, honest,guv, I gorrit from a bloke down Camden Market.....) Would ANTONY & DECLAN grab the microscopic attention span of their target teenage audience? And how about the probable 'Hillbilly' image of GED HOULLIER?

I don't think it's the influence of media PR alone which is at work here. There seem to be certain 'U' and 'non-U' usages of variants on a name which are in circulation, while others are almost inevitably avoided. KENNY EVERETT, for all that he was a brilliant mimic and creator of identities was NEVER known as KENNETH. Love him or loath him, the same can be said of HARRY ENFIELD (personally I am most definitely in the latter category, but that's beside the point). In this case, HAROLD or even HAL would sound patently false, but I am unable to put a finger on exactly why.

What other combinations come to mind? I list a few of my own to round off this Conversation Topic, and invite anyone who's got this far into my thoughts and ramblings to add any of their own....

Without disrespect to the memory: could RICHARD ADAMS ever be thought of as RICHIE, or even DICK?

Could the talents of MICHAEL CAINE be hidden behind the name MICKY?

(Pardon, Ma'am - but it's topical!) Isn't it a good job a certain young lady managed to get the pronunciation of her own name corrected from LILIBET to ELIZABETH before she began a working life which has now spanned 50 years?

Would ANDREW WARHOL ever graduate from Art College? Or that lazy Italian layabout LENNY DAVINCI who spent most of his working life lying down on the job?


I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts on contemporary and historical names where one variant of a name is generally accepted as the 'only' variation in common use for that particular person. Of particular interest would be any thoughts on possible REASONS for the acceptance of whichever variant is generally accepted even in fiction [ROBIN HOOD, but ROB ROY, for example!]

I haven't even TOUCHED upon the related subject of NICKNAMES, partly because I feel these are more open to abusive and hurtful or insulting intent. They can also be regional, and thus of limited circulation: the nickname YOZZER appears to be in use exclusively in the Liverpool/Merseyside area for anyone with the family name HUGHES (at least, I've never heard it used elsewhere around the UK). Granted that the world will never see his like again, but where on earth did the nickname DIXIE DEAN (footballer) come from?

Other unlikely/improbable combinations:

LOL Olivier instead of Laurence?
PEGGY Thatcher (variation on MARGARET)?
CHARLOTTE Dimmock in the garden?
JIMMY Oliver in the kitchen?

Have fun adding to this (not-TOO-serious!) list .....

Depending on who you talk to I'm known as
Peter
Pete
Happy
Grim
Tall Pete
Big Pete
or "the lanky git over there"

do names really matter

As I said, not wishing to be taken too seriously - A rose by any other name, etc, and (especially) between friends names are only as important as we want them to be.
I was simply struck by the idea that although many names have variants which are all 'common coinage', so to speak, there are certain combinations which seem to be accepted and others which nobody seems to use MICKY Caine??? MICHAEL Mouse???

Thanks for your input, Happydude!
*offers *

*munch*

Charles Shultz was never called anything but "Sparky" by anyone who knew him. He didn't answer to Charles or any of it's variants.
Sparky was a dog he once loved who was named after a horse, Sparkplug, in the Barney Google comic strip.

My daughter has been known as "Shnooks" for most of her twelve years.

For some stupid reason, I have been known by my last name for most of my life and my mother persists in using my brother's name while referring to me by my initials.

Buck Owens was not born that, he picked his own first name when he was about four, calling himself after a favorite mule.

In the last Indiana Jones movie, it turns out that,"Indy was the dog's name!" "I really liked that dog."

I had a girlfriend once, who remarked, after seeing me shaven for the first time," You don't look like a (name withheld), you look more like a Patrick."
Well, that stuck. And she gave me another last name, too. Shoat.
Patrick Shoat.
And for months, she referred to me as Shoat, even in public.
I had to get her for that.
I thought and thought and thought and came up with SOTU, Scourge Of The Universe, and used it for the remaining months of the relationship.
An acquaintance of mine became Thesnelda when she was in certain moods. The name stuck and she hated it. Later, she became the Queen of the Obvious... Because nothing that escaped her was as important as the associations that were suddenly apparent to her...