h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've got names for people in my office, as well as strange scenarios. Today Cruella De'Ville and Princess Diana we're having a fight. In ballgowns.

Dalmations versus corgis? I back the dallies any day.

zdt

">> "Ladybumps" - I thought you meant women who were pregnant. <<

Ah, young Footbacon..so young, so naive. You have ladybumps...2 of them is the normal number"

I think my pregnant thought must have come from talking about prolapsed wombs today.

You certainly do, FB. I've studied the subject for quite some time.

Twatface? His surname isn't 'Locke', perchance, is it?

B

Twatface sounds like my physics teacher. The flash heater as he is known.

(there's a book called 'the flesh eater' in the library and it was written by someone with the saem name as him. but flesh eater is way too cool a nickname for someone that twatty.)

No, his name isn't Locke

Will? William? Wolfie?

B

Well, his surname starts with a W but that's as far as it goes..

Twatface Wanker?

Aye! Do you know him?

I didn't know my boss worked in Scotland too!

good lord, it sounds like you're working in an office stuck in the dark ages!

Perhaps a tight skirt, a bit of cleavage and a wink timed nicely will get him being nicer to you..... (what a tosser! )

Perhaps you could bake the office some chocolate chip brownies as a peace offering.... but make the chocolate chips out of 'ex-lax' chocolate....

Childish, but strangly satisfying....

"Perhaps a tight skirt, a bit of cleavage and a wink timed nicely will get him being nicer to you"

I nearly said 'That'd work on me', but then realised what a career-ending move that could be.

B

Ooh! Are you a "porno Sir"?

RF

Well my chest is more than ample these days anyway, which I've already mentioned, but to beat people like him at their own game is to be extremely nice and subservient to them. They think they've won when you're secretly sticking the vickies up behind them

::goes to look up "sticking the vickies up"::

Mmmm... ample chests...

It's a short term for Vicky Vs - giving someone the V sign, which is so much cooler than flipping someone off as the V sign has such a great story behind it

Ah, that's what I thought. My first introduction to that was watching The Young Ones.

I didn't know there was a story behind it.

I know there is no believable story for "the bird".